Well as I'm winding down on the end of my 22nd year of life, I thought it'd be nice to look back over this year and reflect on how much God has taught me and done in my life. So here we go!
I feel like God has taught me so much this year, but if anything the biggest lesson I think I've learned is greater understanding on how to love. I know I probably say this every time, but I realized that I really have a tendency to just love people that love me. It is so much work to put effort into someone who continuously hurts you, but I read a verse last night that really makes sense:
Matthew 5:46 "for if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?"
If you always just love the people that are easy to love, then you haven't really learned to love. Love loves to love, and the reward of love is love. Love loves to love EVERYBODY!!!! No exceptions (this is where the word unconditional comes in). My tendency is to remove myself from a relationship when I keep getting hurt by the person, but as I've been studying the life of Jesus, I've found that he never did that! Not once. He never refused to give love to a person even though they hurt him, but what he did do was refuse to be hurt. He had a view of people that we can only have if we allow God to transform our minds. Hurt people, hurt people! It's an ongoing cycle of hurt because someone is hurting so they end up hurting someone else who then hurts someone else ect.... get the picture? So how do we stop this cycle? We have to refuse to take on hurt, we have to learn to see people through the compassionate eyes of Christ and see where the hurt that they tried to pin on us came from. If we choose to see the hurt in the one that hurt us, it enables us to say "I know your hurting and I refuse to allow your hurt to hurt me". Often if we look at the way someone has hurt us and then look at how that person is struggling, you can clearly see why they did what they did. Our hurt NEVER gives us an excuse to hurt others, but we are responsible for the way we respond to hurt.
This lesson has been and will be an ongoing process for me, but I know God will be faithful to give me the strength to refuse to be hurt so that I can love like He does. 22 has been amazing! What a challenging but wonderful year, look out 23! I'm coming at ya!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Change in America will start with Music
Once again God is expanding on my purpose for my life. It's amazing how I've known that I was meant to be a musician since I was 13 but that was all I knew. Now here I sit with greater revelation on why He's entrusted me with this gift and how I'm supposed to use it, and I know I haven't even come close to the fullness of it!
This morning I saw a tweet about music being a runway to God encounters. God took that simple phrase and began to expand on it. Here's what He's been speaking to me.
As a musician, I automatically have a platform. Even in the Bible the musicians were the ones to go in front of the army. Why?
1. To send a message to the opposing army that they were on they're way. To announce the coming of war! To communicate to the opposing team!
We have the ability to send a message to the opposing team! But when we decide we want to blend in and make the same noise and sound that everyone around us is making, how can we even be heard! We have been given a voice but if we just say what everyone else is already saying, then we chose to give up our voice and support the message of someone else. Saying something different will always cause friction, because it causes people to chose. "When you have options, division is the next step", but if we dont give them a reason to choose what is right then we are responsible for the lack of change. What do you want to see happen in the world? Sing about that!
2. They also at the same time would pump up their army! Music has a way of connecting with your emotions and causes you to feel something. There was a sense of victory that attached itself to the music and helped the soldiers to fight with everything in them.
I believe that it is the same way with music today. Musicians still have a huge platform and how we chose to use that platform determines the outcome of our society.
Now lets look at the current state of our society. What is the statistic for the age kids start having sex? I know the age keeps getting lower and lower. And what do they think love is? How do they treat one another? What kind of music are they listening to? It's all about relationships, sex, hurt, anger, revenge and we wonder why our children are struggling so badly! What you expose yourself to is what your going to learn from. The future of our country lies in the hands of our children and we continue to dump all our hurts and anger on them through the platform of music. And we wonder why our nation is in such bad shape.
Musicians, it's time we recognize our responsibility to our nation and the world. America has such a huge influence on the rest of the world too! We are way to powerful to take our gift lightly. It's time we rise up and use our gifts to encourage our world. Not just sell songs and write hits to glorify ourselves. We have been entrusted with too much to be selfish. But we will only write from the overflow of our hearts. What we dwell on is what we limit ourselves too. If we choose to be influenced by the same music that is influencing the world, we will only continue to give the world what it already has. I refuse to contribute to the current state of our nation but the way to start to create change, is to change me.
God, continue to show me how to live in such a way that when this gift comes out of me it will be a runway to You.
This morning I saw a tweet about music being a runway to God encounters. God took that simple phrase and began to expand on it. Here's what He's been speaking to me.
As a musician, I automatically have a platform. Even in the Bible the musicians were the ones to go in front of the army. Why?
1. To send a message to the opposing army that they were on they're way. To announce the coming of war! To communicate to the opposing team!
We have the ability to send a message to the opposing team! But when we decide we want to blend in and make the same noise and sound that everyone around us is making, how can we even be heard! We have been given a voice but if we just say what everyone else is already saying, then we chose to give up our voice and support the message of someone else. Saying something different will always cause friction, because it causes people to chose. "When you have options, division is the next step", but if we dont give them a reason to choose what is right then we are responsible for the lack of change. What do you want to see happen in the world? Sing about that!
2. They also at the same time would pump up their army! Music has a way of connecting with your emotions and causes you to feel something. There was a sense of victory that attached itself to the music and helped the soldiers to fight with everything in them.
I believe that it is the same way with music today. Musicians still have a huge platform and how we chose to use that platform determines the outcome of our society.
Now lets look at the current state of our society. What is the statistic for the age kids start having sex? I know the age keeps getting lower and lower. And what do they think love is? How do they treat one another? What kind of music are they listening to? It's all about relationships, sex, hurt, anger, revenge and we wonder why our children are struggling so badly! What you expose yourself to is what your going to learn from. The future of our country lies in the hands of our children and we continue to dump all our hurts and anger on them through the platform of music. And we wonder why our nation is in such bad shape.
Musicians, it's time we recognize our responsibility to our nation and the world. America has such a huge influence on the rest of the world too! We are way to powerful to take our gift lightly. It's time we rise up and use our gifts to encourage our world. Not just sell songs and write hits to glorify ourselves. We have been entrusted with too much to be selfish. But we will only write from the overflow of our hearts. What we dwell on is what we limit ourselves too. If we choose to be influenced by the same music that is influencing the world, we will only continue to give the world what it already has. I refuse to contribute to the current state of our nation but the way to start to create change, is to change me.
God, continue to show me how to live in such a way that when this gift comes out of me it will be a runway to You.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Music, Emotions & God
I was reading in my current choice of literature this morning. "Kissed the girls and made them cry" by Lisa Bevere (good stuff). I just really wanted to share something that really spoke to me as a musician and songwriter who is madly in love with God. Hope it speaks to you too.....
"Music is an essential key to the awakening of our love for God, because music has the power to usher us past our present reality and into the very presence of God. It lifts our truest and deepest emotions closer to the surface and transports us to a dimension closer to the heart of God. He can speak for us when words are hard to express and our feelings are so overwhelming. As a youth David used the power of music to draw him closer to God and keep loneliness at bay while tending sheep. As he sang he sensed God's presence with him in the wilderness."
The music we listen to has the power to control our emotions. When we choose to listen to music that feeds our emotions instead of causes us to rise above our circumstance, we've chosen to remain in that state. If we want to change our situations, we need to be careful of what we take in. What goes in is what's gonna come out. I have no problem with love songs and listening to secular radio, but I really have no desire to because my desire is for Him, and most of the time that's not who they're talking about.
As musicians and songwriters I think we need to realize the power we have been entrusted with. What kind of influence do we want to have? The sounds and words we release into the atmosphere have the power to change lives, communities, and even our nation. How are we going to chose to use the anointing and power we've been given, to simply blend in or change history?
"Someone in this generation is gonna make a noise thats gonna shape a nation!"
"Music is an essential key to the awakening of our love for God, because music has the power to usher us past our present reality and into the very presence of God. It lifts our truest and deepest emotions closer to the surface and transports us to a dimension closer to the heart of God. He can speak for us when words are hard to express and our feelings are so overwhelming. As a youth David used the power of music to draw him closer to God and keep loneliness at bay while tending sheep. As he sang he sensed God's presence with him in the wilderness."
The music we listen to has the power to control our emotions. When we choose to listen to music that feeds our emotions instead of causes us to rise above our circumstance, we've chosen to remain in that state. If we want to change our situations, we need to be careful of what we take in. What goes in is what's gonna come out. I have no problem with love songs and listening to secular radio, but I really have no desire to because my desire is for Him, and most of the time that's not who they're talking about.
As musicians and songwriters I think we need to realize the power we have been entrusted with. What kind of influence do we want to have? The sounds and words we release into the atmosphere have the power to change lives, communities, and even our nation. How are we going to chose to use the anointing and power we've been given, to simply blend in or change history?
"Someone in this generation is gonna make a noise thats gonna shape a nation!"
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
"Her spirit returned"
Lately God has been pounding the phrase "Self-pity destroys Hope" over and over into my head. The other week at work while I was sorting through apple after apple, He spoke that simple phrase to my heart. At first I was just like, yes that's good, but the next morning I woke up and it was like God flipped the switch while I was sleeping and the light bulb turned on! I suddenly saw area's where I had lost hope and then He pointed out that I had lost hope out of pity for myself. My selfishness began to take over my mind. I became absorbed in my disappointment and frustrations and because things were not going my way, I slowly began to give up. I began to allow dreams and desires to die because my current situation looked hopeless.
Tonight I read Luke 8:49-52. It's the story of the a man who ran desperately to Jesus because his daughter was sick and He wanted Jesus to heal her. Here, read this:
49 While He was still speaking, someone *came from the house of the synagogue official, saying, “Your daughter has died; do not trouble the Teacher anymore.” 50 But when Jesus heard this, He answered him, “Do not be afraid any longer; only believe, and she will be[a]made well.” 51 When He came to the house, He did not allow anyone to enter with Him, except Peter and John and James, and the girl’s father and mother. 52 Now they were all weeping and lamenting for her; but He said, “Stop weeping, for she has not died, but is asleep.” 53 And they began laughing at Him, knowing that she had died. 54 He, however, took her by the hand and called, saying, “Child, arise!” 55 And her spirit returned, and she got up immediately; and He gave orders for something to be given her to eat. 56 Her parents were amazed; but He instructed them to tell no one what had happened.
Now this passage is full of so many things we can learn, but here is what jumped off the page to me tonight. Everyone was so focused on the fact that SHE DIED. Yes she did die. Do you see this? Now just keep that in your head. This girl is dead. Not sleeping, she is dead. Most of the time when it looks as though there is no hope left, that's when we give up! Why keep believing for something because it's obviously never going to happen? That is living in the worldly culture! Yes, in this world, there is no cure for death. We cannot bring people back to life. But now let's go back and read this again. Jesus of course does not live with a worldly mentality. He lives in the Kingdom culture. In the Kingdom culture, death can be cured and not only cured but reversed and better then ever! There can be complete healing and restoration! My favorite part of this passage is where it says, "Her spirit returned". If it "returned" that means it left. Are you getting this?
We have a choice. We can live with a worldly mentality and settle for death of our dreams, desires, physical death, sickness ect... or we can live with a Kingdom mentality and see death bow to the power of Jesus Christ! Not even death can stop Jesus from bringing life and restoration to a situation.
No matter what your situation is, it will only change if you change your mind. It all comes back to renewing the mind. If you choose to stay limited to the way the world understands things, you've chosen to settle for death and disappointment. Run to Jesus just like the desperate father did in this story. Invite Jesus into your situation. Let Him breathe life into the dead areas of your life.
"To have a resurrection, you have to have a death."
Tonight I read Luke 8:49-52. It's the story of the a man who ran desperately to Jesus because his daughter was sick and He wanted Jesus to heal her. Here, read this:
49 While He was still speaking, someone *came from the house of the synagogue official, saying, “Your daughter has died; do not trouble the Teacher anymore.” 50 But when Jesus heard this, He answered him, “Do not be afraid any longer; only believe, and she will be[a]made well.” 51 When He came to the house, He did not allow anyone to enter with Him, except Peter and John and James, and the girl’s father and mother. 52 Now they were all weeping and lamenting for her; but He said, “Stop weeping, for she has not died, but is asleep.” 53 And they began laughing at Him, knowing that she had died. 54 He, however, took her by the hand and called, saying, “Child, arise!” 55 And her spirit returned, and she got up immediately; and He gave orders for something to be given her to eat. 56 Her parents were amazed; but He instructed them to tell no one what had happened.
Now this passage is full of so many things we can learn, but here is what jumped off the page to me tonight. Everyone was so focused on the fact that SHE DIED. Yes she did die. Do you see this? Now just keep that in your head. This girl is dead. Not sleeping, she is dead. Most of the time when it looks as though there is no hope left, that's when we give up! Why keep believing for something because it's obviously never going to happen? That is living in the worldly culture! Yes, in this world, there is no cure for death. We cannot bring people back to life. But now let's go back and read this again. Jesus of course does not live with a worldly mentality. He lives in the Kingdom culture. In the Kingdom culture, death can be cured and not only cured but reversed and better then ever! There can be complete healing and restoration! My favorite part of this passage is where it says, "Her spirit returned". If it "returned" that means it left. Are you getting this?
We have a choice. We can live with a worldly mentality and settle for death of our dreams, desires, physical death, sickness ect... or we can live with a Kingdom mentality and see death bow to the power of Jesus Christ! Not even death can stop Jesus from bringing life and restoration to a situation.
No matter what your situation is, it will only change if you change your mind. It all comes back to renewing the mind. If you choose to stay limited to the way the world understands things, you've chosen to settle for death and disappointment. Run to Jesus just like the desperate father did in this story. Invite Jesus into your situation. Let Him breathe life into the dead areas of your life.
"To have a resurrection, you have to have a death."
Monday, October 31, 2011
...And the Pursuit of Happiness
I'm discovering more and more about what Jesus meant when He said not to worry about tomorrow because today has enough cares of it's own. Just like everything else Jesus did and said, this is totally counter-cultural. In today's culture people are always telling you that you need to be preparing for the future. Poor high schoolers are always being hounded by the dreaded question, "what are you going to do when you graduate?". Like most adults even know what they want to do! We've become a culture that expects you to have your future together before you even have your present life together. I think that's what Jesus meant when He said to focus on today. How can you very well take care of the things that are going on around you right now when you are so worried about what you will be doing 10 years from now!?!?! People waste away their lives trying to strive for something. I believe that having goals is a good thing, but God didn't call us to strive for greatness. He told us to seek first the Kingdom of God and then everything else would just fall into place. If we focus on living every single day waking up and saying "How can I further the Kingdom of God today?" we will begin to really see our destiny unfold. When we focus too much on where we want to be, we will never be happy with where we are at.
This is something I have struggled with so much in my life. I've always had a hard time living in the moment and enjoying my life because I always felt pressure to know my next step. To make sure that everything was lined up for the next thing that I was going to do. Preparation and obsession of the future are two very different things. We need to begin to know the difference.
I honestly believe that we complicate our lives way too much. It really isn't that hard. We think that there is only one way that we can live life and be completely happy and so we strive to achieve happiness instead of achieve what our destiny is supposed to be - furthering the Kingdom of God. You can never follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and NOT be happy so why do we focus so much on our happiness instead of the leading of the Holy Spirit? It's time we stop living the way the world tells us to live and start living the way we are supposed to. My life is not about me. If I'm all there is to my life, then I'll be quite disappointed.
This is something I have struggled with so much in my life. I've always had a hard time living in the moment and enjoying my life because I always felt pressure to know my next step. To make sure that everything was lined up for the next thing that I was going to do. Preparation and obsession of the future are two very different things. We need to begin to know the difference.
I honestly believe that we complicate our lives way too much. It really isn't that hard. We think that there is only one way that we can live life and be completely happy and so we strive to achieve happiness instead of achieve what our destiny is supposed to be - furthering the Kingdom of God. You can never follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and NOT be happy so why do we focus so much on our happiness instead of the leading of the Holy Spirit? It's time we stop living the way the world tells us to live and start living the way we are supposed to. My life is not about me. If I'm all there is to my life, then I'll be quite disappointed.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I'm Different. Period.
This past week has been a roller coaster! So much that I've had to step back, look at my life and say, "God, what the heck?!" But He always teaches me through my circumstances so here's what I've come to learn through it all.
I am not a normal human being! Sorry people, but I am not called to a "normal" lifestyle. What I mean is, I know that I am not made to have a normal job, do the normal "daily grind" as some people call it (which in my opinion if your calling it the daily grind then your not living out what God created you to do). I am called for something else and that scares people. I don't live having my every move planned out. I don't plan for the future. I've realized that everytime I try to do that, God changes it on me! God has me at a place where I move when He tells me. He speaks, I go. Whatever that looks like. If I have the money, if I don't have the money. If it seems logical, if it seems insane! If people agree with me, if people don't agree with me! The way I live scares people because they don't trust God enough to provide for me, to work everything out. I know it's just because they love me, but this is the lifestyle I am called to. It's a lifestyle of radicle faith and you know why I live it? Because I asked for it.
Rewind a couple years to Sarah at the age of 15. I had heard the story about George Mueller and his orphanage. He ran his orphanage in such a way that he accepted no cash donations from people and no monthly supporters. He prayed to God and believed 100% that He would provide their every need. The story most commonly told is the one where the orphanage was totally out of food. They had absolutely nothing to give the kids breakfast the next morning. His good friend pleaded with him to ask someone for help but Mueller refused. The next morning the children gathered around the table for breakfast. Mueller thanked God for the food they were about to eat even though there was nothing in front of them. During the prayer there was a knock on the door. There stood a baker who told them that God woke him up in the night and told him to bake bread for the children. As the baker was speaking, the milkman came to the door and said that his mild cart had broken he needed to store the milk somewhere. He told them that if he could store it there, they could have all the milk they wanted! God provided. End of story. Mueller was obedient to the lifestyle God called him to live and God NEVER let him down. After hearing this story, I prayed the dangerous prayer "God, give me the faith of George Mueller".
Since then God has asked me to do some outrageous things. I've refused to do things that people have told me to do because God told me differently. They thought I was crazy, but God worked it out in the end miraculously! I've seen His faithfulness. I know I'm called to this lifestyle. It's not going to make sense to people but it's how I am called to live and no amount of people criticizing that will make me change. I've tried to please people over the past year but trying to take on a second job and get a car and make myself "stable" and I'm finding myself back to square one. Trusting God to provide for me anyway. I know He will. He's faithful! Get ready to hear about the miracles that God is doing in my life!
I am not a normal human being! Sorry people, but I am not called to a "normal" lifestyle. What I mean is, I know that I am not made to have a normal job, do the normal "daily grind" as some people call it (which in my opinion if your calling it the daily grind then your not living out what God created you to do). I am called for something else and that scares people. I don't live having my every move planned out. I don't plan for the future. I've realized that everytime I try to do that, God changes it on me! God has me at a place where I move when He tells me. He speaks, I go. Whatever that looks like. If I have the money, if I don't have the money. If it seems logical, if it seems insane! If people agree with me, if people don't agree with me! The way I live scares people because they don't trust God enough to provide for me, to work everything out. I know it's just because they love me, but this is the lifestyle I am called to. It's a lifestyle of radicle faith and you know why I live it? Because I asked for it.
Rewind a couple years to Sarah at the age of 15. I had heard the story about George Mueller and his orphanage. He ran his orphanage in such a way that he accepted no cash donations from people and no monthly supporters. He prayed to God and believed 100% that He would provide their every need. The story most commonly told is the one where the orphanage was totally out of food. They had absolutely nothing to give the kids breakfast the next morning. His good friend pleaded with him to ask someone for help but Mueller refused. The next morning the children gathered around the table for breakfast. Mueller thanked God for the food they were about to eat even though there was nothing in front of them. During the prayer there was a knock on the door. There stood a baker who told them that God woke him up in the night and told him to bake bread for the children. As the baker was speaking, the milkman came to the door and said that his mild cart had broken he needed to store the milk somewhere. He told them that if he could store it there, they could have all the milk they wanted! God provided. End of story. Mueller was obedient to the lifestyle God called him to live and God NEVER let him down. After hearing this story, I prayed the dangerous prayer "God, give me the faith of George Mueller".
Since then God has asked me to do some outrageous things. I've refused to do things that people have told me to do because God told me differently. They thought I was crazy, but God worked it out in the end miraculously! I've seen His faithfulness. I know I'm called to this lifestyle. It's not going to make sense to people but it's how I am called to live and no amount of people criticizing that will make me change. I've tried to please people over the past year but trying to take on a second job and get a car and make myself "stable" and I'm finding myself back to square one. Trusting God to provide for me anyway. I know He will. He's faithful! Get ready to hear about the miracles that God is doing in my life!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Transforming Love
It's amazing that when you allow God to speak to you and challenge you in the areas that needs improvement, He is so faithful to give you the understanding and strength to learn how to walk it out. As you've been reading the biggest lesson I'm learning is how to love people. Not just my boyfriend, not just my family, but EVERYONE. Holy crap it is not easy, but I'm looking at myself and watching the transformation happening and there is no other explanation except for God.
Recently there was an incident where God changed my heart towards a person who I have really been struggling to love for a couple years now. We have very different mindsets and ways of doing things and I've let that get to me so much! It attacked so much of me that I just could not see the good in this person and really struggled to get along with them. Then there was a night when they were talking and immediately my mind shut down into the "criticize" mode and a second later my spirit said "NO Sarah! Find the good!" When I allowed myself to do that, there was a total change in my heart. The way I saw the person was in a whole new light. There was truth in their words, and I was able to pull that out unbiasedly. I know that it wasn't me who was able to do this. It was my choice to change my thoughts but it was the Holy Spirit who opened my eyes to see this individual as just that, an individual.
Love is not associating with someone because our beliefs and thought process's are just like mine. Love is being able to be around that person and love them despite your differences. Jesus hung out with the thieves, adulterers, and all those people who He didn't agree with. They're choices and thoughts and life styles totally went against everything He stood for but He didn't let that affect His love for them. He loved them with eyes that saw past their differences and that's how transformation in their lives was able to happen. Love is unconditional. As soon as we put conditions on it, it's no longer love.
"Show me how to love like you have loved me!" was a prayer that I sang out with all my heart once, God is faithful to answer it!
Recently there was an incident where God changed my heart towards a person who I have really been struggling to love for a couple years now. We have very different mindsets and ways of doing things and I've let that get to me so much! It attacked so much of me that I just could not see the good in this person and really struggled to get along with them. Then there was a night when they were talking and immediately my mind shut down into the "criticize" mode and a second later my spirit said "NO Sarah! Find the good!" When I allowed myself to do that, there was a total change in my heart. The way I saw the person was in a whole new light. There was truth in their words, and I was able to pull that out unbiasedly. I know that it wasn't me who was able to do this. It was my choice to change my thoughts but it was the Holy Spirit who opened my eyes to see this individual as just that, an individual.
Love is not associating with someone because our beliefs and thought process's are just like mine. Love is being able to be around that person and love them despite your differences. Jesus hung out with the thieves, adulterers, and all those people who He didn't agree with. They're choices and thoughts and life styles totally went against everything He stood for but He didn't let that affect His love for them. He loved them with eyes that saw past their differences and that's how transformation in their lives was able to happen. Love is unconditional. As soon as we put conditions on it, it's no longer love.
"Show me how to love like you have loved me!" was a prayer that I sang out with all my heart once, God is faithful to answer it!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Laboring Love
I've been learning a lot lately through this long distance relationship I am currently in. We started dating back in June of this year so we had all summer together, working hard together and just being able to have fun as well. We knew that the day would come when we would have to work on this relationship apart from each other because of him going back to college and you know how everyone says that long distance relationships never work, well I think I'm learning why they don't.
Being apart from my boyfriend has obviously been terribly hard. He's such a great person that I would be weird if it wasn't hard for me, but this season has definitely not been without its struggles beyond just the space between us. I've fought the thought of "is this even worth it?" so many times. I mean, the point of being in a relationship is so you can be with the person, right? No, actually thats not it at all. Love is totally a choice. I have to choose to continue to love him every single day. This is hard and I could chose to give up but what are my reasons for wanting to give up? If I sit back and evaluate them, they are always selfish ones. 1 Corinthians 13 tells me that LOVE is not selfish so obviously if I end the relationship based on my selfishness, that isn't out of love. So what is love in this situation? Love is labor! It's working hard at it everyday and making the choice to say, "I love you for who you are not what I can get from you". If your only reason for being in a relationship is for what you can get out of it, then you will have a very selfish marriage. By learning to put away my selfish desires now (and I'm not just talking about physical crap) I'm preparing myself to continue in this relationship self-less. And even if it ends, I have learned the valuable lesson of how self-less love is hard work and that will help me in all my relationships.
I was contemplating all this last night when God reminded me of a quote and it pretty much sums up this season for me and my wonderful boyfriend:
"Everybody's promise has at least one giant strategically placed there by God. David killed his giant with a rock but from then on he fought with Goliath's sword. What was meant to destroy you will become your greatest strength."
We can let this distance destroy us, or we can let it be a valuable lesson which will become our greatest weapon later on in life. It's hard, but it's worth it. Jesus gave up his life because of love, I can give up a couple months of him not being around. People try to tell me this isn't worth it, but God has taught me so much through it that I believe it's more then worth it.
Being apart from my boyfriend has obviously been terribly hard. He's such a great person that I would be weird if it wasn't hard for me, but this season has definitely not been without its struggles beyond just the space between us. I've fought the thought of "is this even worth it?" so many times. I mean, the point of being in a relationship is so you can be with the person, right? No, actually thats not it at all. Love is totally a choice. I have to choose to continue to love him every single day. This is hard and I could chose to give up but what are my reasons for wanting to give up? If I sit back and evaluate them, they are always selfish ones. 1 Corinthians 13 tells me that LOVE is not selfish so obviously if I end the relationship based on my selfishness, that isn't out of love. So what is love in this situation? Love is labor! It's working hard at it everyday and making the choice to say, "I love you for who you are not what I can get from you". If your only reason for being in a relationship is for what you can get out of it, then you will have a very selfish marriage. By learning to put away my selfish desires now (and I'm not just talking about physical crap) I'm preparing myself to continue in this relationship self-less. And even if it ends, I have learned the valuable lesson of how self-less love is hard work and that will help me in all my relationships.
I was contemplating all this last night when God reminded me of a quote and it pretty much sums up this season for me and my wonderful boyfriend:
"Everybody's promise has at least one giant strategically placed there by God. David killed his giant with a rock but from then on he fought with Goliath's sword. What was meant to destroy you will become your greatest strength."
We can let this distance destroy us, or we can let it be a valuable lesson which will become our greatest weapon later on in life. It's hard, but it's worth it. Jesus gave up his life because of love, I can give up a couple months of him not being around. People try to tell me this isn't worth it, but God has taught me so much through it that I believe it's more then worth it.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Destiny or Choice?
I've been thinking a lot lately about some of my desires, my calling, my choices and my destiny. Lately, God has been teaching me so much about how to live life and it goes against so much of how people teach us to live. Some people think that our life is planned out for us, that we have a set destiny and that is true to an extent. It's true in the fact that if we know Jesus, our destiny is Heaven which should be our goal in life anyway.
But Heaven isn't something for when we die, God wants us to discover Heaven and bring it to earth! That is our destiny. How that comes about really isn't that big of a deal. I think that's where God puts talents and gifts in us and says "Ok, you know the agenda. Here are the things I've given you to make it happen. What ideas do you have? How do you want to do this?".
It's called co-creating with God. I'm not saying that God doesn't give us direction, but I also don't believe that he plans out our every move and our every step. When you simply seek first His Kingdom, everything else simply falls into place. We remove so much of the conflict and confusion in our lives when we just live with that simple goal. It's simple in the fact that the "how" isn't complicated. If you know the heart of God, and you know that He wants you to help Him complete our destiny, then you also know that He doesn't get all worked up when you decide to do something that He didn't straight up tell you to do.
I know for a fact that God LOVES to give us the desires of our heart. He has given me what I want countless times, because He is good and He LOVES us! If you mentioned that there was something you wanted and your best friend found out and got it for you, you wouldn't say "Oh but you didn't tell me this is what I wanted so I can't receive this from you"....NO!!!!! You would feel loved that they listened to your heart, your desires and gave you what you wanted. It's just another aspect of God's love.
It's the enemy that makes you think that God is up there like a GPS saying, turn right at the stop sign....turn left at the light! It's the enemy that makes us think that if we don't do exactly what God says then we wont end up living the best life we possibly can. I think that co-creating with God, using our talents and gifts that He gave us to further His ultimate plan is living our life the best way we possibly can. It's how He loves us. And oh how He loves us!
But Heaven isn't something for when we die, God wants us to discover Heaven and bring it to earth! That is our destiny. How that comes about really isn't that big of a deal. I think that's where God puts talents and gifts in us and says "Ok, you know the agenda. Here are the things I've given you to make it happen. What ideas do you have? How do you want to do this?".
It's called co-creating with God. I'm not saying that God doesn't give us direction, but I also don't believe that he plans out our every move and our every step. When you simply seek first His Kingdom, everything else simply falls into place. We remove so much of the conflict and confusion in our lives when we just live with that simple goal. It's simple in the fact that the "how" isn't complicated. If you know the heart of God, and you know that He wants you to help Him complete our destiny, then you also know that He doesn't get all worked up when you decide to do something that He didn't straight up tell you to do.
I know for a fact that God LOVES to give us the desires of our heart. He has given me what I want countless times, because He is good and He LOVES us! If you mentioned that there was something you wanted and your best friend found out and got it for you, you wouldn't say "Oh but you didn't tell me this is what I wanted so I can't receive this from you"....NO!!!!! You would feel loved that they listened to your heart, your desires and gave you what you wanted. It's just another aspect of God's love.
It's the enemy that makes you think that God is up there like a GPS saying, turn right at the stop sign....turn left at the light! It's the enemy that makes us think that if we don't do exactly what God says then we wont end up living the best life we possibly can. I think that co-creating with God, using our talents and gifts that He gave us to further His ultimate plan is living our life the best way we possibly can. It's how He loves us. And oh how He loves us!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Irene means "Peace"
Well, as most of the world knows, the eastern shore of the United States was hit with a hurricane last week. Honestly, when people started talking about us getting hit by a hurricane, I didn't really take it too seriously. Then I made the mistake of running to Walmart! Dumbest idea ever! But despite everyone's fear and panic, I can honestly say I felt nothing but peace. I mean, it's not like I have an ocean's view from my bedroom window (though nothing would make me happier) but there's always the possibility of flooding, trees falling, power going out; which that stuff happened, but not to me. There was no worry in my mind what-so-ever. In fact, I had my window open all night and the breeze was so perfect! The whole time I had a Bill Johnson quote in my head "You have authority over any storm you can sleep through". That solid truth kept me in perfect peace, and yes I slept very well that night thank you!
The morning after, I went to church. I had to go early because one of the youth girls had slept at my house and was on the worship team. During the 8am prayer time God shared so much with. I was actually in the middle of complaining to my journal about a crappy situation I was going through when He totally interrupted my thoughts with a picture (I think He more so was just sick of my complaining...ha!). So I figured I'd just copy my journal entry on the revelation:
"I'm sitting in prayer and God showed me the radar tracking the hurricane and said to look at it in the spiritual sense. All the storms in our lives, government, whatever, they are happening all around us, BUT! there is always the eye of the storm. The place of peace where it seems as though nothing else is going on! The storms cannot touch what is in the eye.
Jesus is the eye. He is the place of peace and rest and when you abide in Him, when you rest in Him, nothing can touch you. You have authority over any storm you can sleep in. If you find the eye of the storm, you will find perfect rest, because the storms cant touch you."
We can choose to focus on the storms around us, or we can choose to run to the eye and sleep through them. Choosing to sleep through a storm is not ignoring that it's going on around you, it's simply saying that you recognize the storm but you will not let it steal your peace! That's the enemy's goal! To STEAL our peace! We have to see it and say "Satan I see what you are trying to do and I WILL NOT let you do it!"
I don't believe that it was coincidence that even though a hurricane came through, it was given the name Irene. Irene means PEACE! Just a little reminder that we will have storms but His peace is always there waiting for us to choose to run into.
I heard another Bill quote today that goes right along with this: "If we want peace that passes understanding, we have to give up our right to understand."
And of course Jesus himself is the one who said "In this world you WILL have trouble, but take heart because I have overcome the world". That's a promise I can cling too.
The morning after, I went to church. I had to go early because one of the youth girls had slept at my house and was on the worship team. During the 8am prayer time God shared so much with. I was actually in the middle of complaining to my journal about a crappy situation I was going through when He totally interrupted my thoughts with a picture (I think He more so was just sick of my complaining...ha!). So I figured I'd just copy my journal entry on the revelation:
"I'm sitting in prayer and God showed me the radar tracking the hurricane and said to look at it in the spiritual sense. All the storms in our lives, government, whatever, they are happening all around us, BUT! there is always the eye of the storm. The place of peace where it seems as though nothing else is going on! The storms cannot touch what is in the eye.
Jesus is the eye. He is the place of peace and rest and when you abide in Him, when you rest in Him, nothing can touch you. You have authority over any storm you can sleep in. If you find the eye of the storm, you will find perfect rest, because the storms cant touch you."
We can choose to focus on the storms around us, or we can choose to run to the eye and sleep through them. Choosing to sleep through a storm is not ignoring that it's going on around you, it's simply saying that you recognize the storm but you will not let it steal your peace! That's the enemy's goal! To STEAL our peace! We have to see it and say "Satan I see what you are trying to do and I WILL NOT let you do it!"
I don't believe that it was coincidence that even though a hurricane came through, it was given the name Irene. Irene means PEACE! Just a little reminder that we will have storms but His peace is always there waiting for us to choose to run into.
I heard another Bill quote today that goes right along with this: "If we want peace that passes understanding, we have to give up our right to understand."
And of course Jesus himself is the one who said "In this world you WILL have trouble, but take heart because I have overcome the world". That's a promise I can cling too.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
My Quest for Love continues
God has had me on this quest to learn how to love for quite some time now. Close to this time last year He was teaching me how to love unconditionally and it totally rocked my world. It wasn't an easy lesson to learn. He was teaching me to love people that have hurt me despite the hurt. My tendency, and I think it's most of our tendencies, is to withhold love from someone when they've hurt me. It's a protection thing. I don't want to just throw my love around when people are just gonna keep hurting me. But if you look at the life of Jesus, He loved. End of story. There was no, oh but in this case the hurt was just too great and He needed to "guard his heart" or protect himself from getting hurt again. No! Even when He was beaten passed recognition and hanging on a cross He still turned His face to Heaven and said "Father forgive them for they don't know what they are doing". That is the greatest example of love, and you know what He got in return? They continued to make fun of Him and hurt Him. There was no happy ending to that day. He died, and His killers were totally ok with it.
Here I am again, reliving what God taught me last year but this time on another level. This time He showed me another aspect of Love. Love associates with EVERYONE! Even if you don't agree with the way a person lives, how they act, how they talk....Love still loves even them! Those people that go to church and say all the right things and then turn around and act totally different, those people who live a lifestyle that doesn't glorify God, the sinners, you know the person you really dislike that is the last person you ever want to love. Our tendency is to say we shouldn't associate with people who could potentially corrupt us. BUT!!!! Let's once again look at what Jesus did, oh that's right! He hung out with the liers, cheaters, adulterers, murderers, and poor people. He didn't care about His reputation. They deserve love just as much as the "perfect" people, if not they need it more! Jesus laid down his reputation to love the unloved.
I have no doubt in my mind that there were times when Jesus didn't feel like loving His enemies, I mean He was human, but the difference was, He knew how to live by the Spirit. He didn't allow His flesh to react the way it wanted to. He always followed what the Spirit said to do. If we are living by the Spirit, He will not only lead us to love those we don't want to love, but He will give us the strength to walk it out. The Holy Spirit never tells you to do something you are not able to do. It may not be easy, but you can do it!
Unconditional love is hard. It's a huge process that I dont know if you can ever even get completely right. Especially when there are people in your life that are just so challenging that they try your ability to love to no end! And we all have someone like that in our lives. But God says were still supposed to love them and Jesus showed us that it's totally possible! And not only Jesus, but the Bible is full of examples of people that learned to love even the most challenging individuals. It is not impossible!
There are so many aspects to love and I'm seeing that the more and more God opens my eyes to them. He's even showed me that my love for Him can be conditional. I mean, how often on a sunday morning your tired or don't like the music or the teaching and you decide God isn't gonna get your worship and praise then? That's conditional love. I'm not happy so I'm not gonna make you happy. Love isn't easy, but it's what we are called to.
When it's all said and done, God isn't gonna ask us how much we did with our life, how much money we made, or how pure and sinless we were....He's gonna ask us, "Did you learn to love?"
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
"Except the Lord that build the house......"
There is nothing I find more interesting then reading about the history of the Untied States of America. We are such a privileged, God ordained nation and how we came about and have continued to keep going has been nothing short of a miracle. I'm currently reading "From Sea to Shining Sea" by Peter Marshall & David Manuel. It is the second of a series of three about God's plan for America. It is the most inspiring piece of literature I think I've ever read. So as I'm reading you can expect me to post things things that jump off the page at me. Here is today's tidbit. It takes place in Philadelphia in 1787, a year after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. After much bickering and fighting about what direction to take our new nation, Benjamin Franklin took leave to say what was on his mind.
"How has it happened, sir, that we have not hitherto once thought of humbly applying to the Father of lights to illuminate our understanding? In the beginning of the contest with Britain when we were sensible of danger, we had daily prayers in this room for Divine protection. Our prayers, sir," he looked at Washington, "were heard, and they were graciously answered. All of us who were engaged in the struggle must have observed frequent instances of superintending Providence in our favor...And have we now forgotten this powerful friend? Or do we imagine we no longer need His assistance?
I have lived, sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth: "that God governs in the affairs of man.' And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?
We have been assured, sir, in the sacred writings that except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it, I firmly believe this. I also believe that, without His concurring aid, we shall succeed in this political building no better than the builders of Babel; we shall be divided by our little, partial, local interest; our projects will be confounded; and we ourselves shall become a reproach and a byword down to future ages. And what is worse, mankind may hereafter, from this unfortunate instance, despair of establishing government by human wisdom and leave it to chance, war, or conquest.
I therefore beg leave to move that, henceforth, prayers imploring the assistance of Heaven and its blessing on our deliberations, be held in this assembly every morning before we proceed to business."
-Benjamin Franklin
Mind you, Benjamin Franklin was not a christian. He was known for his Rationalist views and he was the last person anyone would have expected to make such a statement.
God, I pray that you raise up a Benjamin Franklin in our government today. A man that see's the importance of you in governing our nation and will stand up and boldly speak about the future of our country without the hand and wisdom of God guiding our every decision, even if he may not be fully convinced himself.
"How has it happened, sir, that we have not hitherto once thought of humbly applying to the Father of lights to illuminate our understanding? In the beginning of the contest with Britain when we were sensible of danger, we had daily prayers in this room for Divine protection. Our prayers, sir," he looked at Washington, "were heard, and they were graciously answered. All of us who were engaged in the struggle must have observed frequent instances of superintending Providence in our favor...And have we now forgotten this powerful friend? Or do we imagine we no longer need His assistance?
I have lived, sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth: "that God governs in the affairs of man.' And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?
We have been assured, sir, in the sacred writings that except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it, I firmly believe this. I also believe that, without His concurring aid, we shall succeed in this political building no better than the builders of Babel; we shall be divided by our little, partial, local interest; our projects will be confounded; and we ourselves shall become a reproach and a byword down to future ages. And what is worse, mankind may hereafter, from this unfortunate instance, despair of establishing government by human wisdom and leave it to chance, war, or conquest.
I therefore beg leave to move that, henceforth, prayers imploring the assistance of Heaven and its blessing on our deliberations, be held in this assembly every morning before we proceed to business."
-Benjamin Franklin
Mind you, Benjamin Franklin was not a christian. He was known for his Rationalist views and he was the last person anyone would have expected to make such a statement.
God, I pray that you raise up a Benjamin Franklin in our government today. A man that see's the importance of you in governing our nation and will stand up and boldly speak about the future of our country without the hand and wisdom of God guiding our every decision, even if he may not be fully convinced himself.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Album Update!
The Oil to Fire band! Only the most awesome band ever! |
I am happy to announce that we have successfully completed our six weeks of prayer and worship! We got all of the recordings and after 16 hours of working, Corey and I narrowed it down to what is now the line up for the "fire" portion of the album. It's exciting to start seeing this project come together and I'm so excited to see it finished completely! I know God is doing something through it and it's so exciting to be a part of it!
Well I know this is short but I will try to do better at posting updates! Things are moving! Keep your eyes peeled for exciting pics, video and updates on the album! We hope to have a release date soon!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Oil to Fire night 2 recap!
Once again, another great night of prayer and worship! Corey and I each had our personal time with God during the day and He once again gave both of us vision and direction for the night. We prayed for Education in America! We prayed for each school district, all the teachers, all the students! We prayed for God to move in our schools! It was great! We even had the privilege of praying for teachers in our midst last night. We have quite a few homeschool families and even public school teachers! We will continue to keep them in prayer as they educate the next generation of leaders in our nation!
This is such an important topic because of the very fact that if we do not properly educate the younger generation, then we are partly responsible for how our nation turns out. We really need to take education seriously. It is our job to invest ourselves in our children. Not only just in schools but in our churches as well. It is absolutely vital that we take interest in serving the children in our church and raise them up to be mighty men and women of God. Our government may try to keep God out of our schools, but are we gonna deny children the right to learn about God in church? That's where it's supposed to be, but too often we get caught up in our selfishness of needing to get something out of church for ourselves, instead of church being a place where we can serve and build each other up. Children's ministry becomes second to our own personal growth. When we are spending time with God daily and getting filled up from Him personally, thats when we look at church with a servant mindset rather than a consumer mindset and that's when church becomes what it's supposed to be. The family of God serving each other and building up one another in Christ. So there's my little tangent on that.
Be sure to join us again next week! Same time and place! God is doing awesome stuff! You don't wanna miss out!
This is such an important topic because of the very fact that if we do not properly educate the younger generation, then we are partly responsible for how our nation turns out. We really need to take education seriously. It is our job to invest ourselves in our children. Not only just in schools but in our churches as well. It is absolutely vital that we take interest in serving the children in our church and raise them up to be mighty men and women of God. Our government may try to keep God out of our schools, but are we gonna deny children the right to learn about God in church? That's where it's supposed to be, but too often we get caught up in our selfishness of needing to get something out of church for ourselves, instead of church being a place where we can serve and build each other up. Children's ministry becomes second to our own personal growth. When we are spending time with God daily and getting filled up from Him personally, thats when we look at church with a servant mindset rather than a consumer mindset and that's when church becomes what it's supposed to be. The family of God serving each other and building up one another in Christ. So there's my little tangent on that.
Be sure to join us again next week! Same time and place! God is doing awesome stuff! You don't wanna miss out!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Oil to Fire night 1 recap :)
Last tuesday was amazing! I was kinda nervous at first, I mean you never really know how something like this is gonna go. Corey and I know that we are called to prophetic worship and the way we feel led to lead in this way is to pray and get God's heart for the evening and then just see what happens! As far as the "Oil" hour goes, we sat down about 10 minutes before we were gonna start and asked God, "what do we do?" We don't really plan out our songs. We wait for God to lead us. So, I really shouldn't ever be surprised but I'm just always so impressed with God. Corey got the song "Wrap me in your arms" and I got the song "Embrace"! I just love it. At first I was kinda bummed because I was thinking "aww man, it's not the same song". Then I thought about what the songs were and just started laughing. I'm so impressed with God and how He does things. So we had our direction and just went for it. And it was so great! I love just being able to sing whatever God puts on my heart in that moment! It's so cool! There's really no other place I'd rather be. It was perfect.
The "Fire" part of the night was just fantastic! I couldn't be happier with the band and how they have just taken the vision that Corey and I have and just made it their own! They did amazing! It was such a great time of prayer for families in America! I know God is moving through them. Prayer makes such a difference! I think we really underestimate it sometimes! But it moves God's heart when we take time out of our busy schedules to come to something like this to cry out for the important things in the world! How much do we want to see change! How much sacrifice are we willing to make! I don't think that 2 hours of prayer is too much sacrifice. Jesus gave His life. That's what I want to give.
I look at what God has called me to, and I'm just in awe. Really He knows me so much better than any person ever will, and even myself! He has guided me to exactly what He knows I'll be good at and what I'll love. He's never gotten it wrong! Yeah, sometimes I think He's absolutely out of His mind, but He's way to good to not follow. He always makes it work. ALWAYS!
Well I hope to see you at Oil to Fire next week! Were gonna be praying for EDUCATION!!!! I can't wait!
The "Fire" part of the night was just fantastic! I couldn't be happier with the band and how they have just taken the vision that Corey and I have and just made it their own! They did amazing! It was such a great time of prayer for families in America! I know God is moving through them. Prayer makes such a difference! I think we really underestimate it sometimes! But it moves God's heart when we take time out of our busy schedules to come to something like this to cry out for the important things in the world! How much do we want to see change! How much sacrifice are we willing to make! I don't think that 2 hours of prayer is too much sacrifice. Jesus gave His life. That's what I want to give.
I look at what God has called me to, and I'm just in awe. Really He knows me so much better than any person ever will, and even myself! He has guided me to exactly what He knows I'll be good at and what I'll love. He's never gotten it wrong! Yeah, sometimes I think He's absolutely out of His mind, but He's way to good to not follow. He always makes it work. ALWAYS!
Well I hope to see you at Oil to Fire next week! Were gonna be praying for EDUCATION!!!! I can't wait!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
No Idea What to Even Title This
I get sick of my bedroom quite frequently. It's funny, for a person who likes structure, I cannot stand when my room has looked the same for forever. I have to rearrange my furniture or do something to switch it up a bit. Well, I'm in that process and I decided to cover one of my walls entirely with pictures. So here I sit looking at a wall half filled with pictures and what can you do but reflect. So I've decided that I'm just going to reflect out loud. Well, kinda.
It's crazy to look back on life. Sometimes I simply cannot believe some of the things that have happened, some of the people I've met and things that I've personally done. My life has been full of excitement, tragedy, searching, finding, good friends, bad friends, you name it, it's been there! I've been able to do so many things. I have lived quite the life in my short 22 years and I wouldn't ever trade it with anyone. But the most interesting thing to me is the people. There are so many different people on this wall and the sad thing is, most of these people are no longer a part of my life. Where as once they were such a huge part of my life, I don't even know what they are up to anymore. I have no idea where they are and what they are doing. It's sad to me. It's been something about life that I've always struggled with. I hate the constant coming and going of people and especially allowing someone to get really close just for them to somehow have to drop out of it. So without ever admitting to it, I created a thin wall. I'll let you come so far, but once you hit this point, you can't come any further. I believe boundaries are healthy, but slowly I allowed the wall to get bigger and bigger. My excuse being that if God is all I need, why do I need people? I developed a very selfish viewpoint on life. I believe that God has big plans for me so I've been running with them. It's been all about how can I further myself, and how can I get ahead. But that's the complete opposite way that Jesus would do things. He knew exactly who He was and what He was made for, BUT he never had a selfish or arrogant attitude toward life. He was all about serving PEOPLE! You gotta go lower, if you wanna go higher. We as Americans are taught the complete opposite! The American dream is all about working your way to the top, but life isn't supposed to be about self-promotion and trying to further yourself. It's about serving others. Being able to be there for others. And in order to do that, you have to let people into your life. Jesus's life scares me. Sometimes I'm not so sure if I wanna live like Him. It's not easy and it opens yourself up for people to hurt you. That's what happened to Him. But it's worth it. I don't completely understand why, but I know that it's truth. It's one of those things where I simply have to say, "I don't understand your ways, but I'll give you my song, I'll give you all of my praise". I've learned how to trust on God to be my everything, and now He's teaching me to trust others as well. Not an easy task for me (i'm even contemplating wether this should be posted). Well, here we go....
Thursday, May 12, 2011
College No More
Oh boy, here we go. I never like writing these blogs. I love to appear like I have it together and know what I'm doing but SURPRISE! Even Sarah Aubel can make some not so accurate decisions.
For some time now I haven't really had peace about going to school. I know what God told me and I have no doubt in my mind that I know what I'm supposed to do, but my execution was just a bit off. There were so many factors about going to college that just didn't set well with me. The deal breaker came in the mail this week. I got my award letter for financial aid and I qualified for quite a bit. But even with all my scholarships and grants and loans, I still needed a lot of money for each year of school. Now you can argue that if God calls He's gonna provide and I know this. I believe this with all my heart! I've seen Him do it time and again, but I cannot justify going into that much debt for what? A degree? A piece of paper that "qualifies" me to do what I do. God and I had a talk about this, He flat out told me "Sarah, this is not about the degree. You don't get your qualification from a piece of paper. I've qualified you and that's all you need". He's right, I don't need to have a 4 year college education, but I do need to be skillful. So after much prayer and consideration, I've decided to not go to USF this fall. I will not forget what God put on my heart to do though. I will pursue becoming a skillful musician and will get better and better! I will pursue excellence but I will do so in a way that will not hurt me financially in the future. I plan to stay home and get lessons from local people. I already have a WONDERFUL vocal coach and I know God will lead me to the right instructors who will be able to help me get better at the gift God has given me. It's not easy for me to change my mind. It somewhat scares me that I don't have an exact plan anymore. But I know that God is faithful and He will guide each and every move I make. He has already opened so many doors already for me to pour into my community and it excites me! I love York, PA and I want so badly to see a move of God here. I can only do this if I stay here and help to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to this part of the earth.
Thank you all for bearing with my decisions. I know it can be hard to keep up with me but you all do such a wonderful job! ;)
For some time now I haven't really had peace about going to school. I know what God told me and I have no doubt in my mind that I know what I'm supposed to do, but my execution was just a bit off. There were so many factors about going to college that just didn't set well with me. The deal breaker came in the mail this week. I got my award letter for financial aid and I qualified for quite a bit. But even with all my scholarships and grants and loans, I still needed a lot of money for each year of school. Now you can argue that if God calls He's gonna provide and I know this. I believe this with all my heart! I've seen Him do it time and again, but I cannot justify going into that much debt for what? A degree? A piece of paper that "qualifies" me to do what I do. God and I had a talk about this, He flat out told me "Sarah, this is not about the degree. You don't get your qualification from a piece of paper. I've qualified you and that's all you need". He's right, I don't need to have a 4 year college education, but I do need to be skillful. So after much prayer and consideration, I've decided to not go to USF this fall. I will not forget what God put on my heart to do though. I will pursue becoming a skillful musician and will get better and better! I will pursue excellence but I will do so in a way that will not hurt me financially in the future. I plan to stay home and get lessons from local people. I already have a WONDERFUL vocal coach and I know God will lead me to the right instructors who will be able to help me get better at the gift God has given me. It's not easy for me to change my mind. It somewhat scares me that I don't have an exact plan anymore. But I know that God is faithful and He will guide each and every move I make. He has already opened so many doors already for me to pour into my community and it excites me! I love York, PA and I want so badly to see a move of God here. I can only do this if I stay here and help to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to this part of the earth.
Thank you all for bearing with my decisions. I know it can be hard to keep up with me but you all do such a wonderful job! ;)
Monday, May 2, 2011
How to react to the death of Osama bin laden
I woke up this morning to a text from my sister saying that Osama Bin laden was dead. I got on facebook for the morning and saw all the status' about it and you got christians who have their opinion, others are again in favor of Obama and then you have people saying we should celebrate the man's death! My feelings were mixed so I asked God. He reminded me of what He's been teaching me lately.
Something that God has been teaching me a ton lately has been about love. How to love people that I hate, people that have hurt me and people that I don't even know. I'll be at work and God will start raving about a person to me about how great that person is, how much He adores them, ect. And I'm like, "God, I dont even know this person!" But He LOVES them! Genuinely LOVES them. They may not even be christians. They could even possibly be atheist that want nothing to do with Him but He still LOVES them! I think too often we forget that God's love is unconditional. That means, it doesn't matter what we do, what we say, if we kill a bazillion people, if we bomb places, if we plan terrorist attacks. IT DOESNT MATTER! To Him it's not about the things we do. It's about who we are. He sees us like nobody else does. We americans have no right to judge Osama. We have no idea what He's been through and what had caused him to do the things he did. We are a nation under God, and our God calls us to love like He loves. That's unconditionally. I don't forget what this man did to our country. Many died and I understand that. But he is still a man that God loved. If we walk in forgiveness and pray for our enemies, thats when the doors are open for God to change hearts and lives.
When it comes right down to it, in the end God isn't gonna ask us how many terrorist we killed...He's gonna ask us, "Did you learn to love?"
Something that God has been teaching me a ton lately has been about love. How to love people that I hate, people that have hurt me and people that I don't even know. I'll be at work and God will start raving about a person to me about how great that person is, how much He adores them, ect. And I'm like, "God, I dont even know this person!" But He LOVES them! Genuinely LOVES them. They may not even be christians. They could even possibly be atheist that want nothing to do with Him but He still LOVES them! I think too often we forget that God's love is unconditional. That means, it doesn't matter what we do, what we say, if we kill a bazillion people, if we bomb places, if we plan terrorist attacks. IT DOESNT MATTER! To Him it's not about the things we do. It's about who we are. He sees us like nobody else does. We americans have no right to judge Osama. We have no idea what He's been through and what had caused him to do the things he did. We are a nation under God, and our God calls us to love like He loves. That's unconditionally. I don't forget what this man did to our country. Many died and I understand that. But he is still a man that God loved. If we walk in forgiveness and pray for our enemies, thats when the doors are open for God to change hearts and lives.
When it comes right down to it, in the end God isn't gonna ask us how many terrorist we killed...He's gonna ask us, "Did you learn to love?"
Monday, April 18, 2011
Mission Statement for Oil to Fire
Hey everyone! As you may remember, Corey and I are again recording. This time it will look quite a bit different. In short we will be holding 6 nights of prayer and worship for America and recording all the events. After that, we will mix it all together to create a worship album. We are so excited about this! I know this doesn't really explain it much but if you would like to know more, we have created a kickstarter page (there is a link for it on the left hand column) and there is a video that explains the project in more detail. We are also trying to raise $1,000 to help produce the album. Kickstarter is a way you can get involved with this project and help us accomplish what God has placed on our hearts to do. I mostly wanted to post our mission statement here though. I think it's worth the read. Enjoy!
Oil & Fire Mission Statement
Saturating in the presence of God to ignite our community.
2 Chronicles 7:14 says "and if my people which are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land." This is the motivation for Oil & Fire. We want to humble ourselves to the realization that our country, our state, our city NEEDS the intervention of God. In response to this, we will pour out our hearts to God and seek His face and His desire for our nation. We want to see restoration come to America. We want to return to our original design and purpose. We want to see the Kingdom of God come to this earth and be a part of ushering in the new things that God is doing.
"He is doing a new thing, so were singing a new song"
God has given us 4 areas to focus on. Like the Isrealites crossing the jordan into the promised land, He has given us the strategy to cross over into new territory.
The first area is our personal encounters with God. We realize that we cannot be a people of change until we allow God to change us. It is our vision to take time to spend soaking in the presence of God before we cry out to Him. We need to allow Him to transform us so that He can enable us to transform cities. Transformed people, transform people! We need to lead by example. We need to be a people addicted to His presence.
The second area is worshiping God together. Declaring who His is. His greatness, His goodness, His faithfulness, and His love! We want to lift Him up, because He is worthy of all the worship we have to give.
The third area is prayer and warfare. We want to stack the throne with our prayers. We want to cry out to God for change in our nation. Prayer changes things! We will go boldly before the throne and get God's heart for this nation, this city, and this community. We will get God's heart and His strategy's to reach our city.
The fourth area is Praise. We don't just want to cry out to God as a hopeless people who don't really believe that He will do what He says. We need to praise Him for the changes that are going to happen because He promised to hear us and to heal our land because of our humble cries. We want to shoot arrows of praise into the spiritual atmosphere to release our city from oppression.
We are in a season of preparation, but if we do not begin to prepare ourselves we will be as the foolish virgins who did not bring oil for their lamps, so when the bridegroom arrived, they were unprepared to welcome him. We will not be caught unprepared! We will soak in the oil of His presence so that when we cry out for the fire of His Holy Spirit we will be ignited and able to carry His flame into a dark world!
"Arise! Shine! for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For behold, darkness will cover the earth and deep darkness the peoples; but the Lord will rise upon you and His glory will appear upon you. Nations will come to your light and kings to the brightness of your rising." Isaiah 60:1-3
Thanks for reading!! Don't forget to visit our kickstarter page!!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I am a Prophetic Worshiper
Well, I'm entering yet another new season. It's a season of discovery that I know God has been trying to speak to me for quite some time but it's finally getting through.
Recently, Corey Robert and I decided that we wanted to create a new album while were both home this summer. We talked a lot about what we thought we could possibly do. We decided to stop talking about it and pray about it separately and then discuss what God shared with us. I actually struggled quite a bit with this. I went back and forth between actually hearing God and deciding what kind of musician I wanted to be. I can honestly say that until up to this point, all I knew was that music was a part of my life, but what kind of musician I was supposed to be was still a mystery for me. I've always been drawn to prophetic worship and Misty Edwards has been my absolute favorite artist since I was 17 but I never had that "yes! thats me" moment.
Since I've been home songwriting has NOT come easily. I thought it would and for a while I kept hearing melodies and half lyrics but the only time I could actually write a song was when I was upset. I would just spill all of my frustrations through writing. I thought maybe it's time to share these things (since I obviously didn't have anything else). It was the only thing that made sense. Then one day as I was just sitting listening to misty in the IHOP prayer room, she started singing "where are the singers, where are the singers who prophecy". Immediately my spirit responded with "THATS ME!". In that moment I knew that God was calling Corey and I to do something different. Not your normal get in the recording studio with your collection of songs, but creating an environment where we can just go and allow God to use our talents to prophecy over our city, our state, and our nation! I've been given this voice not so that I can be just another singer or worship leader, but the words that I sing are meant to change the environment around me. I've finally figured out my purpose and I'm running towards it full force. It was an amazing discovery and even more so when Corey told me that it was the EXACT same thing he got. God is so great like that. We are so excited to allow Him to use us. We will see change in York County, Pennsylvania and I'm so excited about it! Keep a look out for more information about what we are doing. There is a link here on my blog to our myspace page and you can like us on facebook as well.
Being a prophetic worshiper is not as easy as just picking out songs. It's about sitting down with your Bible in front of you and instrument in hand and just singing when nobody else is listening. I listened to a teaching about the practical side of prophetic worship today and afterwards I just had to pick up my guitar and open my Bible and just sing! I've never experienced anything like this. It was like spiritual prophetic vomit! I couldn't hold it back and I have no idea where it came from. The words were there without me even really having to think about them. When God calls, He equips. I know what I'm supposed to do. Don't know what it looks like, but I know He will be faithful to show me when the time is right. I trust Him. He's been right this whole time. He's proved Himself to me. Not that He needed to, but it's because of His goodness that He has. I love Him for it!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Raspberries!
I would like to announce that my sister Rachael and I have started our very own accessory business! We are working hard to make our jewelry and bags to sell at local craft fairs and anywhere we can! All of our products are hand made and original designs. I make necklaces out of handmade clay beads as well as reversible shoulder bags! Rachael makes handmade paper beads and designs necklaces with them. They are beautiful and we are very excited about them! Our first craft fair is this saturday at Senior Commons in York, PA. If you are interested in our creations, feel free to contact us!
10% of all the proceeds will benefit LOVE146 which is an organizations that is helping to end sex trafficking. For more information on LOVE146 you can check out their website. There is a link here on my blog. CHECK IT OUT!!!!
Well that is the latest from here! Until next time!
oh ps. I've been reading through Hebrews. Heres something that jumped off the page at me last night.
"And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature" Hebrews 1:3ish (NASB)
SOOOOOO GOOOD!!!!!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I Have A Music Scholarship!!!!!
Well it's been pretty eventful the past week. I led worship at my church last sunday. It was different but for sure a learning experience for me. It was a different environment then I'm used to. Mostly just because I'm not used to leading with a full band. God taught me a lot through it though. It was good.
Teri Furr was a guest speaker last sunday as well. I was so nervous to have to lead worship with her there. I lived though! It seems that every time I come home and Teri is scheduled to speak, she hits the nail straight on the head. It always relates to exactly where I am at in my life at that time. It was so good!
She also brings her good friend Dawn Swiegart. My last encounter with Dawn was 3 years ago after I had gotten back from my DTS. I was at a point where God told me what to do, but it was such an outrageous thing to do that I was really having a hard time knowing that it was God and He was gonna make it happen. So while I was at Christ Community Church in PA, my good friend Ashley who knows me pretty darn well asked me if I would let her pray for me. I allowed her to and what she prayed for and the things she shared with me were confirmation and exactly what I needed to hear. I was able to go back to that encounter anytime I struggled with what I was doing. God came through and it was the awesome miracle of how I got down to YWAM Orlando to do my SOME. Though that's a story for another time.
This time she was there, and after the service another friend and great supporter of EVERYTHING I do asked if I would allow Teri and Dawn to pray for me. I agreed and yet again, Dawn just pin pointed everything that was going on with me. She is the only person that God has every shared my feelings with. There is no way she could have known some of the feelings that I've had since I've been home. By the time she was done sharing with me what she was seeing and sensing, we were both in tears. I love when God does this. He loves me so much and cares about my feelings enough to share them with someone else and let me know that He's not ignoring them. He see's them and He has a plan to get me to where I want to me. He has equipped me and trained me and has amazing plans that I may not see now, but they will begin to unfold. I am so excited to see what these things are. I love Him so much.
Then on tuesday, I left PA for Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It always feels like home now when I come back. Almost as if I never left but so much changes every time. It's good stuff though! I came out here for 2 reasons. Since I lived here, it's nice to get to visit once in a while so I came to see everyone and also get to babysit the Dupert girls for a weekend. My favorite part! But this time I also had an audition for a music scholarship to the University of Sioux Falls. After being so nervous that I couldn't even eat for about the whole week, I went for my audition today. I chose to sing "Home" from Broadway's Beauty and the Beast a capella. I sang the best I could and the whole time they had the most unreadable faces EVER!!!! After I sang my last note, the one professor said to me, "Wow, you've got quite an amazing instrument there." I did it! They loved it. I also had to do some sight singing and tonal drills which I wasn't too familiar with but I got through it and the end result was an offer for a music scholarship! God is good and I know that His hand is all over this. I was also privileged to sit in on a chior rehearsal. I think this is gonna be good! Well I know it will be because it was His brilliant ideal. And I always like what He comes up with.
So that's where I'm at right now! I return back to PA next tuesday and will most likely move back out here in August to attend school this fall. Life is good! I'm lovin it! Thanks to everyone who kept me in your prayers for today. I appreciate it, because they for sure helped!
Teri Furr was a guest speaker last sunday as well. I was so nervous to have to lead worship with her there. I lived though! It seems that every time I come home and Teri is scheduled to speak, she hits the nail straight on the head. It always relates to exactly where I am at in my life at that time. It was so good!
She also brings her good friend Dawn Swiegart. My last encounter with Dawn was 3 years ago after I had gotten back from my DTS. I was at a point where God told me what to do, but it was such an outrageous thing to do that I was really having a hard time knowing that it was God and He was gonna make it happen. So while I was at Christ Community Church in PA, my good friend Ashley who knows me pretty darn well asked me if I would let her pray for me. I allowed her to and what she prayed for and the things she shared with me were confirmation and exactly what I needed to hear. I was able to go back to that encounter anytime I struggled with what I was doing. God came through and it was the awesome miracle of how I got down to YWAM Orlando to do my SOME. Though that's a story for another time.
This time she was there, and after the service another friend and great supporter of EVERYTHING I do asked if I would allow Teri and Dawn to pray for me. I agreed and yet again, Dawn just pin pointed everything that was going on with me. She is the only person that God has every shared my feelings with. There is no way she could have known some of the feelings that I've had since I've been home. By the time she was done sharing with me what she was seeing and sensing, we were both in tears. I love when God does this. He loves me so much and cares about my feelings enough to share them with someone else and let me know that He's not ignoring them. He see's them and He has a plan to get me to where I want to me. He has equipped me and trained me and has amazing plans that I may not see now, but they will begin to unfold. I am so excited to see what these things are. I love Him so much.
Then on tuesday, I left PA for Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It always feels like home now when I come back. Almost as if I never left but so much changes every time. It's good stuff though! I came out here for 2 reasons. Since I lived here, it's nice to get to visit once in a while so I came to see everyone and also get to babysit the Dupert girls for a weekend. My favorite part! But this time I also had an audition for a music scholarship to the University of Sioux Falls. After being so nervous that I couldn't even eat for about the whole week, I went for my audition today. I chose to sing "Home" from Broadway's Beauty and the Beast a capella. I sang the best I could and the whole time they had the most unreadable faces EVER!!!! After I sang my last note, the one professor said to me, "Wow, you've got quite an amazing instrument there." I did it! They loved it. I also had to do some sight singing and tonal drills which I wasn't too familiar with but I got through it and the end result was an offer for a music scholarship! God is good and I know that His hand is all over this. I was also privileged to sit in on a chior rehearsal. I think this is gonna be good! Well I know it will be because it was His brilliant ideal. And I always like what He comes up with.
So that's where I'm at right now! I return back to PA next tuesday and will most likely move back out here in August to attend school this fall. Life is good! I'm lovin it! Thanks to everyone who kept me in your prayers for today. I appreciate it, because they for sure helped!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Future Plans
Well, here is the moment most people have been waiting for. After much prayer and planning and confirmation and more prayer and planning and submitting to God, I have finally finalized what I will be doing in this next season of my life. I'm trying to drag this out as much as possible because I know the suspense is just killing you and I really wanna just.....OK OK! I'll tell you ;)
I have recently been accepted to the University of Sioux Falls which is located in South Dakota if you didn't know that. I will be starting this fall and majoring in music. Now you are probably wondering why I would decide to do such a thing since I'm obviously in love with missions and stuff. Well it all started last September while I was in Sweden. We were there for a conference to celebrate YWAM's 50 years! Loren and Darlene Cunningham (the founders of YWAM) were there and spoke on all things YWAM. Past, present and future. During one of the meetings, Darlene was talking about all these future things that YWAM is getting involved in and a bunch of stuff. She also talked about how we need skillful people. Not just missionarys that can't do anything. We need to expand on the gifts that God has given us. Yes, He can use us just as we are but it's like the parable of the talents. God honored the ones that did something and expanded on what He gave them. God gives us gift and abilities with the idea that were gonna use them to the best of our ability. To learn all about our skill and get really good at it! Do it with excellence!
I got a lot out of what Darlene was saying even if it didn't hit me straight away. It took another one of our teachers speaking on being a skillful worship leader to really realize where God was going with this. The first day the teacher was there, everything he said just hit home. I knew then that yes, I'm anointed in worship. I have a God-given ability to hear music. But that is mostly my problem. I only play by ear. I noticed that I know how to play piano and guitar and I know how to sing, but I dont really KNOW how to do that stuff. What I know right now is just what comes naturally to me. Sometimes when people would ask me how I know what to do, I'd just have to say, well, and then think about it for a while before I answered, I dont know. I want to be a good steward of the gift I have been given. I want to be a skillful worship leader. When praying about how to go about this, I really felt like God placed this school on my heart. I don't know why, but when I considered anything else it just didn't make sense. God has given me favor and has opened the doors. I am going to walk into this next season with the confidence that this is where God has me for this season.
I'm excited! I know that it will be good. It always is. I look forward to growing more and more! I can't wait!
If you have any questions about what my plans are or anything, please feel free to contact me.
I will be going out to South Dakota on march 15th and I have an audition for a music scholorship on the 17th. If you can pray with me for favor and peace I would really appreciate it. I know that God makes all things work together for my good because I love Him so I have nothing to worry about.
Thanks for taking an intrest in my life! It means so much! <3
I have recently been accepted to the University of Sioux Falls which is located in South Dakota if you didn't know that. I will be starting this fall and majoring in music. Now you are probably wondering why I would decide to do such a thing since I'm obviously in love with missions and stuff. Well it all started last September while I was in Sweden. We were there for a conference to celebrate YWAM's 50 years! Loren and Darlene Cunningham (the founders of YWAM) were there and spoke on all things YWAM. Past, present and future. During one of the meetings, Darlene was talking about all these future things that YWAM is getting involved in and a bunch of stuff. She also talked about how we need skillful people. Not just missionarys that can't do anything. We need to expand on the gifts that God has given us. Yes, He can use us just as we are but it's like the parable of the talents. God honored the ones that did something and expanded on what He gave them. God gives us gift and abilities with the idea that were gonna use them to the best of our ability. To learn all about our skill and get really good at it! Do it with excellence!
I got a lot out of what Darlene was saying even if it didn't hit me straight away. It took another one of our teachers speaking on being a skillful worship leader to really realize where God was going with this. The first day the teacher was there, everything he said just hit home. I knew then that yes, I'm anointed in worship. I have a God-given ability to hear music. But that is mostly my problem. I only play by ear. I noticed that I know how to play piano and guitar and I know how to sing, but I dont really KNOW how to do that stuff. What I know right now is just what comes naturally to me. Sometimes when people would ask me how I know what to do, I'd just have to say, well, and then think about it for a while before I answered, I dont know. I want to be a good steward of the gift I have been given. I want to be a skillful worship leader. When praying about how to go about this, I really felt like God placed this school on my heart. I don't know why, but when I considered anything else it just didn't make sense. God has given me favor and has opened the doors. I am going to walk into this next season with the confidence that this is where God has me for this season.
I'm excited! I know that it will be good. It always is. I look forward to growing more and more! I can't wait!
If you have any questions about what my plans are or anything, please feel free to contact me.
I will be going out to South Dakota on march 15th and I have an audition for a music scholorship on the 17th. If you can pray with me for favor and peace I would really appreciate it. I know that God makes all things work together for my good because I love Him so I have nothing to worry about.
Thanks for taking an intrest in my life! It means so much! <3
Friday, February 18, 2011
Lovin' Life
Well, I hit the ground running! I have returned to my job working at Brown's Orchard and Farm Market. It's nice to be working again. I can't say I always feel like getting up at 6am to go into work but I always remember why I'm so thankful for my job once I get there. I have an amazing store manager and I appreciate her a lot! My job is grading fruit (right now it's apples) and stocking the fruit table and making it always full and looking great! I am also available to the customers to answer any questions they may have about the fruit that is in season. I really do enjoy it! Though because it's still winter, it's not exactly the busiest time of the year so I have a lot of time to just talk with God. Not out loud of course but let me just say that I think it's absolutely wonderful that God can read minds! Seriously it was like His best idea. ;) Anyway, all that to say Im happy to be back.
Home has been an adjustment. I mean thats to be expected but this time around it's a different kind of adjustment. I have really been learning to prioritize my time with God and I wish I could say that I got it done but unfortunately I'm far from it. I'm learning how to work from rest. Can't say I know what that one looks like for me either but hey, I did say that I'm learning it. Another big lesson for me has been how to say no. That one I don't really have down either but this is a new area for me. I have been really having to focus on what my calling and my giftings are and really stick to doing that stuff! I also try to take all opportunities to God and say, should I do this or not. I'm learning to have wisdom in my choices. It's actually a lot to think about!
It's funny to me that it's when I'm home that I have the most inspiration to write new songs. I thought that being away and having new expiriences would inspire new songs but nope! I was too busy! So now as I transition and reflect on the past six months and look at where I am now, I'm finding myself able to yet again describe my feelings and emotions through music. Honestly, it's a gift that I do not take for granted! I love being a musician and songwriter. It's really a lot of fun.
Well thats about it for home right now. I will be singing on the worship team again starting February 26th and I will be leading worship on March 13th! Something new! I'm excited for what God is doing in my life. It's good. I gotta real good life. <3
Home has been an adjustment. I mean thats to be expected but this time around it's a different kind of adjustment. I have really been learning to prioritize my time with God and I wish I could say that I got it done but unfortunately I'm far from it. I'm learning how to work from rest. Can't say I know what that one looks like for me either but hey, I did say that I'm learning it. Another big lesson for me has been how to say no. That one I don't really have down either but this is a new area for me. I have been really having to focus on what my calling and my giftings are and really stick to doing that stuff! I also try to take all opportunities to God and say, should I do this or not. I'm learning to have wisdom in my choices. It's actually a lot to think about!
It's funny to me that it's when I'm home that I have the most inspiration to write new songs. I thought that being away and having new expiriences would inspire new songs but nope! I was too busy! So now as I transition and reflect on the past six months and look at where I am now, I'm finding myself able to yet again describe my feelings and emotions through music. Honestly, it's a gift that I do not take for granted! I love being a musician and songwriter. It's really a lot of fun.
Well thats about it for home right now. I will be singing on the worship team again starting February 26th and I will be leading worship on March 13th! Something new! I'm excited for what God is doing in my life. It's good. I gotta real good life. <3
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Cindy Meyers ♥
So I'm home! Back in the good 'ole USA. I have to admit, it feels pretty strange since I was outta the country for half a year.
Home so far has been, if I'm being completely honest, hard. Change has never been an easy thing for me and this time around hasn't really been any different. But I think the thing that has made it the most difficult is the death of Cindy Meyers. Before I left last summer, I had been working with Joe and Cindy Meyers at our church's youth group. I got to spend lots of time with them, laughing, praying and encouraging the youth. They all liked to make fun of me for eating raw green beans and hummus. :) By the time I was leaving, Cindy was in a lot of pain and going through test but they didn't yet know what exactly was wrong. While I was in Finland, I was informed that she had pancreatic cancer. I prayed and prayed for her and even shared with my friends in Finland and they prayed with me. I was so anxious to come home and be able to pray for her in person. But I never got that chance. I found out that on wednesday morning, Cindy passed away.
Back in July when Corey and I release our album, Cindy was in the hospital during the cd release party and wasnt able to make it. But Joe took one home to her and she told me later that she would listen to it over and over and it made being in the hospital easier. Joe shared again today at the funeral, that out of all her cd's she had, she chose to listen to mine and Coreys. They even played our cd at the funeral. It means so much to know that my music helped to bring her peace in the midst of all her pain.
You don't know how much someone added to your life until they aren't in it anymore. Being a missionary I'm always missing someone but I know I may get the chance to see them again soon. I know I will see Cindy again one day, but not having her where I know her to be won't be easy. Our youth group wont be the same without her. Love you Cindy! You're missed greatly! <3
Home so far has been, if I'm being completely honest, hard. Change has never been an easy thing for me and this time around hasn't really been any different. But I think the thing that has made it the most difficult is the death of Cindy Meyers. Before I left last summer, I had been working with Joe and Cindy Meyers at our church's youth group. I got to spend lots of time with them, laughing, praying and encouraging the youth. They all liked to make fun of me for eating raw green beans and hummus. :) By the time I was leaving, Cindy was in a lot of pain and going through test but they didn't yet know what exactly was wrong. While I was in Finland, I was informed that she had pancreatic cancer. I prayed and prayed for her and even shared with my friends in Finland and they prayed with me. I was so anxious to come home and be able to pray for her in person. But I never got that chance. I found out that on wednesday morning, Cindy passed away.
Back in July when Corey and I release our album, Cindy was in the hospital during the cd release party and wasnt able to make it. But Joe took one home to her and she told me later that she would listen to it over and over and it made being in the hospital easier. Joe shared again today at the funeral, that out of all her cd's she had, she chose to listen to mine and Coreys. They even played our cd at the funeral. It means so much to know that my music helped to bring her peace in the midst of all her pain.
You don't know how much someone added to your life until they aren't in it anymore. Being a missionary I'm always missing someone but I know I may get the chance to see them again soon. I know I will see Cindy again one day, but not having her where I know her to be won't be easy. Our youth group wont be the same without her. Love you Cindy! You're missed greatly! <3
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Leaving Finland
So crazy to think that 6 months ago, I left my home country to come to this new place I had never been and staying with people I didn't even know. It was a huge leap of faith for me but it's been one of the best things God has put in my life. I'm so grateful to have had this opportunity. It has seriously changed my life.
I was driving home with Mirjami from the Davidson's house tonight and we got to talking about how we've changed during this school. I know one of my biggest struggles has been making God the first person I run to in crisis. A really horrible place to be. So when I came here, not being familiar with the culture, language, or even people, I was put in a place of complete dependance on God. Anytime I needed help, I learned to run to Him. He even went a step further by giving me the opportunity to lead the outreach by myself. Of course I wasn't alone though. I had the best helper ever! It really taught me how to continue to run to Him and push all my problems (and everyone else's problems) to Him. It's a lesson that I really needed to learn. I had become so dependent on people to have the answers for me all the time, but now I have learned that I can get them from God. And besides, His always work out better anyway. :)
I also learned the valuable lesson of being selfless. Surprisingly, life is not all about me even if I think it should be (totally kidding). I learned how to not make my problems the center of my life. I learned how to say, God I cant have this in my life right now. Please take it. By doing that I was able to focus on others more and how to help them. I found that normally when I gave a problem to God even though I may have not had an answer, I usually found the answer I needed without even having to go looking for it. He's so faithful.
Before I came to Finland I had made a list of things I needed to see breakthrough in my life. I found that list today and I can honestly say I've seen breakthrough in almost ALL of those things!!! PTL!!
This season has been amazing. I'm sad to leave it but I know I can't stay in this place forever. I know God has more in store for me and I'm so excited to step into this new season. Even though I have no idea what it holds. But I don't have to. God knows me so well, and He knows what's in my heart and how He can use me best to bring His Kingdom on this earth. I'm ready to take this step, even though it means leaving people who have become dear friends behind.
Thank you to each and every person who has made this season of my life absolutely amazing! It wouldn't have been the same had you not been a part of it!
Well, tomorrow Mirjami and I head to Budapest! Exciting to go somewhere new before heading back to my home country! I seriously LOVE my life. I'm one terribly blessed person. :) Obedience to God, is more than worth it!
I was driving home with Mirjami from the Davidson's house tonight and we got to talking about how we've changed during this school. I know one of my biggest struggles has been making God the first person I run to in crisis. A really horrible place to be. So when I came here, not being familiar with the culture, language, or even people, I was put in a place of complete dependance on God. Anytime I needed help, I learned to run to Him. He even went a step further by giving me the opportunity to lead the outreach by myself. Of course I wasn't alone though. I had the best helper ever! It really taught me how to continue to run to Him and push all my problems (and everyone else's problems) to Him. It's a lesson that I really needed to learn. I had become so dependent on people to have the answers for me all the time, but now I have learned that I can get them from God. And besides, His always work out better anyway. :)
I also learned the valuable lesson of being selfless. Surprisingly, life is not all about me even if I think it should be (totally kidding). I learned how to not make my problems the center of my life. I learned how to say, God I cant have this in my life right now. Please take it. By doing that I was able to focus on others more and how to help them. I found that normally when I gave a problem to God even though I may have not had an answer, I usually found the answer I needed without even having to go looking for it. He's so faithful.
Before I came to Finland I had made a list of things I needed to see breakthrough in my life. I found that list today and I can honestly say I've seen breakthrough in almost ALL of those things!!! PTL!!
This season has been amazing. I'm sad to leave it but I know I can't stay in this place forever. I know God has more in store for me and I'm so excited to step into this new season. Even though I have no idea what it holds. But I don't have to. God knows me so well, and He knows what's in my heart and how He can use me best to bring His Kingdom on this earth. I'm ready to take this step, even though it means leaving people who have become dear friends behind.
Thank you to each and every person who has made this season of my life absolutely amazing! It wouldn't have been the same had you not been a part of it!
Well, tomorrow Mirjami and I head to Budapest! Exciting to go somewhere new before heading back to my home country! I seriously LOVE my life. I'm one terribly blessed person. :) Obedience to God, is more than worth it!
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