This past week has been a roller coaster! So much that I've had to step back, look at my life and say, "God, what the heck?!" But He always teaches me through my circumstances so here's what I've come to learn through it all.
I am not a normal human being! Sorry people, but I am not called to a "normal" lifestyle. What I mean is, I know that I am not made to have a normal job, do the normal "daily grind" as some people call it (which in my opinion if your calling it the daily grind then your not living out what God created you to do). I am called for something else and that scares people. I don't live having my every move planned out. I don't plan for the future. I've realized that everytime I try to do that, God changes it on me! God has me at a place where I move when He tells me. He speaks, I go. Whatever that looks like. If I have the money, if I don't have the money. If it seems logical, if it seems insane! If people agree with me, if people don't agree with me! The way I live scares people because they don't trust God enough to provide for me, to work everything out. I know it's just because they love me, but this is the lifestyle I am called to. It's a lifestyle of radicle faith and you know why I live it? Because I asked for it.
Rewind a couple years to Sarah at the age of 15. I had heard the story about George Mueller and his orphanage. He ran his orphanage in such a way that he accepted no cash donations from people and no monthly supporters. He prayed to God and believed 100% that He would provide their every need. The story most commonly told is the one where the orphanage was totally out of food. They had absolutely nothing to give the kids breakfast the next morning. His good friend pleaded with him to ask someone for help but Mueller refused. The next morning the children gathered around the table for breakfast. Mueller thanked God for the food they were about to eat even though there was nothing in front of them. During the prayer there was a knock on the door. There stood a baker who told them that God woke him up in the night and told him to bake bread for the children. As the baker was speaking, the milkman came to the door and said that his mild cart had broken he needed to store the milk somewhere. He told them that if he could store it there, they could have all the milk they wanted! God provided. End of story. Mueller was obedient to the lifestyle God called him to live and God NEVER let him down. After hearing this story, I prayed the dangerous prayer "God, give me the faith of George Mueller".
Since then God has asked me to do some outrageous things. I've refused to do things that people have told me to do because God told me differently. They thought I was crazy, but God worked it out in the end miraculously! I've seen His faithfulness. I know I'm called to this lifestyle. It's not going to make sense to people but it's how I am called to live and no amount of people criticizing that will make me change. I've tried to please people over the past year but trying to take on a second job and get a car and make myself "stable" and I'm finding myself back to square one. Trusting God to provide for me anyway. I know He will. He's faithful! Get ready to hear about the miracles that God is doing in my life!
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