Peek-a-Boo! I See YOU!

Our teacher for the week, Mike Payne

The phrase I can't seem to get away from this week is, "I See You". It's like God's trying to cram it into my head. "I see you. I see your heart. I see your thoughts. I see every word you think but choose not to say. You see all the bad things that you think about, but I see that you chose to not think about them. You choose not to say them. I see your heart!"

It's so easy for us to fall into condemnation and guilt when it comes to our thoughts because we know what we think about and we are the only ones who know what we think about. Other than God of course. So even though we may not say those things out loud we are still thinking them. Those thoughts are still there and at times we get really frustrated because we know we shouldn't be thinking those thoughts. I had a of couple days this week where I kept having negative thoughts. It was so frustrating because I was like ah! where is this coming from! And I found myself apologizing to God a lot for thinking those thoughts. But you know what God says to me? Sarah, I'm proud of you! What?!?!?! He's proud of me??? My thoughts were totally not lining up with His thoughts and He's proud of that? Thats when He reminded me that not all thoughts are my own. I have an enemy that likes to whisper lies in my ear. It's my choice to listen to them, dwell on them, and accept them; or to say, NO! I refuse to listen to this or dwell on it! It's all about our heart.

Snowball Fight!!! 10/15/10

God went on to explain to me that He sees my heart. My heart is not to think negative thoughts. My heart is to run from those negative thoughts and learn to think only what He is thinking. That's what He sees and that's what He's so proud of! Now if I chose to continue to dwell on those negative thoughts and allow them to take up residence in my mind, then that's when it becomes wrong. But still, He is so gracious because He knows I'm still learning how to renew my mind. He will continue to help me in this process which shows so much patience on His part because He's going into it knowing that it's going to take a lifetime! Ah! He's a great God!
When we realize what God focus' on, condemnation and guilt don't have a chance! God doesn't see our mistakes. He see's our heart in the matter. He loves us way to much to focus on how much we mess up. He cares more about our hearts. If our hearts are for righteousness, He sees that!
Condemnation and guilt keep us from true repentance. Repentance is not sitting right where we fell and staying there screaming out "God I'm so sorry!!!". No it's running into His arms saying "God I'm sorry that I messed up. I've learned my lesson and I never want to go back there again." Our response comes from our heart. A condemned heart doesn't feel worthy of being in God's presence because of their sin. Which is false humility (aka pride). A repentant heart loves God way too much to allow sin to get in the way (this is humility). God knows the difference between a condemned heart and a repentant heart. He sees our heart!

So that was my lesson of the week. And trust me, it didn't just come in one quiet time. This was learned over many hours of just sitting in his presence, asking Him what the heck is wrong with me and allowing Him to speak. His presence is my favorite. It's the safest place I know.