I'm Alive to Learn

Two days in a row! Go me! This week has been quite difficult emotionally for me. I'm thankful for it though because I have learned so much.
Since sunday night, the enemy has been trying to throw my past in my face, but right when I started to feel really condemned and depressed, I found a note that one of my best friends wrote me. It had scriptures on it saying how I'm redeemed and set free. It also said that God doesn't remember my past. He chooses to forget! How great is that! So if He chooses to forget, then why do I chose to remember? So then when the enemy tried to throw my past at me again, I simply thought "I did what? No way. I don't remember that". :)
It sounds like denial, but thats not what it is. I know what I've done, and if God wants to use my past to help others then I'll talk about it. But I refuse to dwell on something that God chooses to forget. What good does it do for me to dwell on my past sin and shame. It doesn't. So there. Haha sucka! You tried to take me down but really just made me confident in who I am.
Then!!! I tell you this week it was never ending!!! Ok so the other day during class, our teacher (Fernando) told us to 1.) go outside and find something that inspires us to worship God and then 2.) to ask God if there is something He wants us to give to someone else as an act of worship as well. So I closed my eyes and was like "Ok God, what do I have that I can give away?". Well I'm expecting Him to tell me to give away something like my ipod or some money or idk something that I feel like would be hard for me. I mean I use my ipod to fall asleep so that would be really tough. But anyway, God brought to my mind not my ipod but this little box that I have. It was given to me by someone that I love a lot and it means so much to me! Well as soon as that came to my mind I felt so sick. I thought, you have got to be kidding me. I fought with God and was like no one is even gonna appreciate this the way I do. And God told me that's exactly why I needed to give it away. I was emotionally attached to a box!! Oh goodness. So with tears, I gave it away. Joyful obedience is something I'm still working on.
The last story from this week I will tell is from my quiet time this morning. It's gonna sound really lame of me but I didn't feel like putting much effort into spending time with God, (don't judge me) so I decided to finish listening to a podcast I had started. Heidi Baker was the one speaking and I love to listen to her because no matter what mood I'm in, her joy is so contagious that it makes me laugh. One of the stories she told was about God mulitplying food. Which apparently He does for them all the time. It made me think that so often we dream of having money and good jobs so that we don't have to worry about food and stuff but then we ask God to do miracles! We don't need miracles if we never have situations that require miracles. We have a serious problem with contradicting ourselves. But then something else hit me! God likes to BAKE!! Lately I've been baking a TON! I think it's actually my way of coping with things but I really enjoy baking. I love when I discover something that me and God have in common. It makes us closer! Now when I bake, I can invite Him to bake with me because it's something we both enjoy! Oh how fun. I love my friendship with God. It's the most valuable one I have. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Ok well I'm done for now. What a great week. Hard but do I really wanna go through life without ever growing? How boring is that.