Because I chose to stay...

Mirjami and Mary advised me to take a day off while Mary is visiting the team so today is my day off. I woke up this morning and immediately my mind went into work mode and thought of everything that needed to get done. But then I had a talk over skype with Mirjami and she told me I had to listen to this song b/c she wants us to play it together sometime. So I listened to it while we were talking and it's great! Then we ended our conversation and I decided to listen to it again. All the while thinking about the emails I need to write, how I need to take a shower, get information ect. The song is called "A Little Longer" by Jenn Johnson. This time around the words really hit me. And as I listened to the song with tears streaming down my face as I let go of my agenda, this is what God began to speak to me.....

"Do you realize just how much I love to just sit with you? My favorite times with you are when we just sit together. I love helping you through the hard things and helping you talk through things, but my absolute favorite is when you simply just sit with me. Normally when we talk you just come and get what you need, but if you would only just stay for a minute longer than you "need" you would see how much more I can give. I am not limited by time and can give you more than enough love than you need in simply just a minute. All it takes is your decision to linger. 

Do you know how much I love when you allow this time! Do you know that it takes everything in me to not just whisk you away and keep you with me all the time! Sometimes I get annoyed that I put you were you are now b/c it takes away from us. You have no idea how much I just want to keep you with me all the time. I love you so much. You are so precious to me. My heart is so in love with you just b/c of who you are. You don't have to do anything to make me love you anymore. I'm infatuated with you! Everything about you! Do you realize how absolutely incredible you are?!  I'm so in love. And nothing you do will make me love you any more or any less. Though when you decide to just stay here with me, you melt my heart. When you chose me over the million and two things that are waiting for you, it makes me feel so amazing. I just want to jump up and dance around and yell "SHE CHOSE ME!!!!!" I love you. I love you. I love you."

It's my pride that tells me that the world needs me more than God wants me. It's a lie that I too often believe and then miss out on these beautiful times with the one I'm so in love with. I love him so very much. 

Uh-Mazing! Thats what this is!

Well I know I had said that the last blog was it for Iceland but God totally caught me off guard today. But seriously, He can surprise me with this kind of stuff anytime!

So today we went back the the nursing home we sang at last tuesday. This time we sang on both the 4th floor and the 3rd floor. Last time we only sang on the 3rd floor. Last week when we went, after we had finished singing, Mirjami and I had the chance to pray for one of the ladies. She told us she was having a lot of back pain and also pain in her eye. So we prayed for her and she was very blessed by it. We left that day feeling good knowing that our prayer blessed her. Little did we know what our prayer really did!!
This time when we went to sing, Mirjami was not with us but I saw the same lady again. Straight away after we finished singing, I went to say hi and she pulled me close and said to me, "After you girls prayed for me last week, I have not had any pain in my back and my eye is feeling better as well." Not only did she believe that she was healed but the director that I have been in contact with to set up our time there said that after we left, the lady had asked for less pain medication. She went on to say that it is indeed a miracle! This coming from her was absolutely amazing! We had been able to have coffee with her and talk with her after last week and when we asked if we could pray for her, she told us that we could but she's not a christian and does not believe in God. But today, she believes in miracles! It's my prayer that she will find the God behind the miracle!

What a way to end our time here in Iceland! God is so good. It makes me super excited for all that He has for us in the Faroe Islands!
Thank you God for your goodness! You seriously just blow me away!

"the spirit of the Lord is upon me to...."

So we leave for the Faroe Islands on wednesday!! What?!?!?! We have been here in Iceland for 2 weeks now and what a 2 weeks it has been. God has been teaching us so much and pushing us to step outside of our comfort zones so that we can better learn the things He is teaching us. 

One of the things God has been speaking to me since the beginning of the school is about healing. It's cool b/c Petri who was the leader of the week last week really has a heart to see people healed and God do miracles. Something that God's really been trying to cram into my head lately though is that in order to see a miracle, you have to have a situation that requires a miracle! But i've noticed that I try to avoid those situations b/c of course they require so much faith and are always uncomfortable!

There was a time last week where I was walking to the YWAM cafe for dinner and saw an older man walking with a cane and a very visible limp. My first initial thought was, pray for him. But immediately following that thought came another thought, why should you pray for him b/c he's old and canes and limps come with old age. It's just life. WHAT A LIE!!! And unfortunately I believed it and continued to walk to the cafe. But as I was walking, I remembered that earlier that day when we sang at the nursing home, Mirjami and I prayed for an older lady, for her back pain and eyes. Now why did I think that God would heal that lady but not the man? It's ridiculous to think that I actually thought that my prayers would work for one person but not the other. I was so upset with myself!

So the next day, I was walking with Petri and Jessie to go to breakfast and saw a girl with a broken arm. Instead of stopping to pray for her, I kept walking and told Petri that I saw a girl with a broken arm! Good for me, I saw her. But what good does it do for me to see her if i'm not going to do anything about it!

By this point I was beyond irritated with myself and decided to set aside time for us as a team to just go out on the streets and pray for people who need healing. So we did! We prayed as a team and then went out. After walking around for quite some time and prayer walking, we still had not seen even 1 person that needed physical healing that we could see!! Crazy since I kept seeing people all the time and now there was not even 1. So we were terribly frustrated that we still had not prayed for anyone so we decided to just go for it. We just wanted to pray for someone. So we saw this woman walking toward us and Mirjami felt like she needed to pray for someone with back pain. She stopped the woman and asked her if she had any back pain. The woman answered yes so we asked if we could pray for her. She allowed us and so we did. We ended the prayer and she hugged each of us and thanked us and then rushed off. She didn't seem too comfortable with us praying for her. I don't know if anything happened or not but I trust that when I pray, God moves. So it's up to Him. We stopped quite a few other people but they didn't want us to pray for them. 

This outreach has been good. I've been learning so much and we are only a thrid of the way through it! So more learning is inevitable! It's good but not always fun. I've learned that God has to always be my priority, if He's not, then what's the point. I can't very well give if I don't have anything to give. And the only way I can get what I need is if I run to my Father. My first response to crisis has to be to go to God. And my first response to success has to be to go to God. I'm learning this. But I'm also learning that I don't want it any other way. Well enough rambling. My next post will most likely be from the Faroe Islands! Woohoo!

North, South, East and West

So yesterday went really well! It was our first official day of ministry and we did some really great stuff! We started out the day with worship and prayer. We asked God what He wanted us to do with the day. When I asked God, I felt like we needed to walk around the city and speak truth. But I also felt like we needed to go the the North, South, East and West. As I kept thinking about this, the verse about where 2 or 3 are gathered there Jesus is popped into my mind and the fact that we are such a small team already, shouldn't we stick together? Theres power in unity right? Then God reminded me of a quote for a book by Bill Johnson. "You + God is always the majority". Yes there is power in numbers but when God tells you to do something, it's more important to be obedient. I must admit though I was still not too sure about what I heard when I asked the others what they got. Petri started sharing what he heard from God. He felt like we needed to walk around the city and speak truth! But not only that, he felt like we needed to split up and go to the North, South, East and West!!!! Bahahhahaa!!! I just started laughing and they are looked at me like, thats what you got too. So I shared what I got and it was very clear what God wanted us to do. So we went back to God and asked Him to give us scriptures to pray out as well as which direction we should each go. Well I shouldn't be surprised but God to Jessie to go North, Petri to go South, James to go East, and me to go West!! So with our Bibles in hand we set out to speak truth over Iceland!

While we were praying, I also felt like I was supposed to go to a church. So I looked at my map of Iceland and found a church on the West coast. Then off I went to find this church. When I got there, I began to pace back in forth in front of the church praying out the scripture that God had given me. At one point I looked up at the doorway and and saw a carving of Jesus with His arms stretched out. I immediately got the song "Arms Wide Open" in my head and began to sing it out.



I was outside for about a half hour and then decided to go inside the church. I walked in the building and it was completely silent. It was so quiet that even just my footsteps echoed through the whole building. I was looking around when I noticed 3 framed pictures on the wall. One was simply the word "Silence", the second one was a picture of a woman with her finger in front of her mouth and the third one was the verse Habakkuk 2:20 which says to be silent in the presence of the Lord. Then it hit me. Churches are supposed to be a place to worship God and sing His praises.

They are not supposed to be places where you sit quietly and just look around! The enemy was totally using scripture to steal the purpose of this church! Of course he wants people to be quiet and not praise God! So what was I gonna do about it? Well I walked up to the first pew sat down and began to read scripture. OUT LOUD! As I sat there, I looked up and this time saw an image of Jesus on the cross with "Arms Wide Open". So again I began to sing. I hardly had to sing out at all. Just even a whisper filled the entire church but that didn't keep me from singing with my whole heart. I sat there and sang out my love to God for about an hour.

God spoke so much to me during my time in that church. I loved my time there. We had planned before going our separate ways to sing the song "Our God" at noon so that we would be declaring who God is to the North, South, East and West of Iceland! So at noon, I went outside and began singing

"Our God is greater!

 Our God is stronger!

God you are higher than any other!

Our God is healer!

He's awesome in power!

Our God, Our God!"

Iceland is said to be a christian nation. It is my prayer that the churches of Iceland will realize who they claim to serve and run into His arm's wide open. I will not be silent no, I will not be quiet anymore!

Dun, dun, dunnnnnnn.......

My outreach team!! Me, Jessie, Petri & James!! What a great group!!!

Well, here I am yet again attempting to tackle the thing I loathe most in life.......packing. I'm sitting here surrounded by all my belongings and it's always inevitable! Packing ALWAYS makes my mind go into memory mode. So here I am, thinking back on the past 3 months.
It was such a shock that God brought me here. I seriously never saw it coming but I can honestly say that I'm so grateful that He gave me this opportunity. It has for sure been a huge learning experience with plenty of ups and downs but seriously they've been great ups and downs. It's seems kinda strange to say that i've had great downs, but those low times for me always pushed me to God. I've learned so much more of what it looks like to depend on Him completely! I know I have so much more to learn about that though but I trust God to continue to teach me. Especially as I lead this outreach with just Him. I know in my own strength I cannot handle this, but I got Him. He will give me exactly what I need.

I'm so grateful that I've had Mary and Mirjami in my life these past 3 months. God has blessed me with 2 new amazing friends that I love so much. I've so much enjoyed getting to know them and lead this school with them. They have been so much fun to share a room with. I'm gonna miss all our craziness so much!
Mary has been such an example for me. She's encouraged me so much in my personal leadership skills and the fact that she trust me enough to ask me to lead this outreach speaks volumes to me. I really am honored. It's also been such an encouragement to seek God with her because we seem to always hear the same stuff! She's also taught me so much in the kitchen. I know i've for sure grown in my cooking skills! :)
Mirjami is like a sister to me. Were so much alike it's kinda scary but at the same time I've learned so much from her. She's so solid in God. She's an amazing leader and the best pianist EVER! I don't care what she says, she's super talented and by far my favorite person to listen to play the piano. She's helped to keep me going even if just by praying for me when she see's I'm not ok. I love our talks that we have whenever we go for a walk. I'm gonna have a hard time living without PTSCT and also playing music with her. She's an amazing person and i'm so glad I can call her my PTS. :)

I live a crazy life. People come and go all the time and it's super hard on me. I've been searching for one person who could be with me all the time and i'd never have to say goodbye to, but the reality of it is, there is NO ONE that can be that for me.There is only one constant in my life and that is Him. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I always have Him. I never have to say goodbye to Him or leave Him even for a second. He is my everything, I am never alone. It's taken me so long to get to this place, but I'm so happy I finally see it. I love Him.

Well I should probably get back to packing. My side of the room looks like a volcano of clothes erupted!! Haha!