To the Bride who is ready to elope!

   I hit it. That point in wedding planning where I started to loathe the process. From craft projects, to food choices, to guest inviting people not on the list; yes I'm ready to elope. What started out as fun, crafts, dreams coming true has now turned into the thing in my life that I want to procrastinate even more so then laundry!

   Worries have started to settle in my mind taking the place of excitement and expectation. People asking a totally logical question or offering helpful advice feels more like a huge boulder added on top of my already toppling mountain that I've been carrying around. It's not them, it's me. And if I don't get rid of the load, I will not make it to my wedding day.

   My problem is fear. Fears of regret, that I will make decisions that 10 years from now will make me want to smack myself upside the head. Fears that I won't have enough for ALLLLLL these people that see our wedding day as something they can't miss out on! (tell me why do we have to be so popular!?!?!?!) Fears that things won't turn out as I'm planning them. Fears that it will rain! Stupid stupid fear!

  So yesterday, I got sick of fear. I went to God about the wedding. He reminded me of a wedding that Jesus went to. The one that marked His ministry. The one where they ran out of wine and He made more! He reminded me that Jesus also calmed a huge storm. (Why am I worried again?) He reminded me of Isaiah 45:2-3 which tells me "He is going before me and making the rough places smooth. Shattering the gates of bronze and cutting their iron bars. He is giving me the treasures of darkness and the hidden wealth of secret places because I have made Him my God and He knows me by my name!". He reminded me that it's just a day. My marriage is what matters. He reminded me that I know how to make good decisions and He trust me to make the right ones but even if I fall short on a decision I have Isaiah 45:2-3 to fall back on. And then as I was talking things out with my future husband (whom God then reminded me why I love Him so much), Corey pointed out that there is a reason all these people are coming to our wedding. That's when God changed my complete idea of what this wedding is about.

   God has given Corey and I a day where we can stand in front of close family, extended family, friends, friends of friends, and allow them the honor of staring at a miracle. They get to witness the very work of God as Corey and I vow to each other to honor and serve one another. They get to witness us paint a picture of Jesus, just as He laid down His life for us, we get to lay down our lives for each other. We get to surround our guest with the very love of Christ as we show love towards one another just as Christ showed love towards us. This wedding is not just about me, it's a way for God to work through me by using the testimony Corey and I have. We would not be where we are without Christ and we want Him to be the center of this day. By coming to this wedding, our guest won't just see Corey and I get married, they will see Jesus Himself.

  My perspective has completely changed for this day. It is no longer about looking back and making sure I don't regret my decisions. It's no longer about what hair style I have or what the centerpieces look like. It's about being a picture of Christ for our family and friends and giving them the chance to encounter the One who has made this all possible. God has brought us together not to put on a party, but to glorify Himself. With that thought in mind, my mountain has melted away and I feel the freedom to move forward in confidence that He will make this day far more then I can ever imagine. I will fix my eyes on Him, the One who has caused all things to work together for our good. I want to look back 10 years from now and remember how many people encountered Christ because of one day. THAT my friends, is my dream wedding.

Happy Wife, Happy Life

   I could not have thought of a better way to spend such a gorgeous saturday morning then to walk to Starbucks with my sweet friend, Jess. Coffee and a lovely conversation, yes please! God has blessed me with someone to enrich my life with fun and also wisdom, not to mention she's actually the same age as me! (which if you know me, that's rare)

   Something we talked about today was the phrase, "A happy wife means a happy life!". We both stated how we had mixed feelings about the saying so we talked it out. Yes, on the one hand there is truth to it. Men if you love your wife she will want to love you back (so feel free to do so), but so often this statement is translated as "It's my husbands job to make me happy at all times and if he doesn't make me happy, then I don't have to make him happy". Newsflash, that's not love. The Bible does tell husbands to love their wives, but love doesn't always look the way we want it. Sometimes love has to tell the truth and sometimes the truth hurts. But God didn't create marriage to suck because of the hard truths, He made it become even more wonderful because - I love the word Jess uses - it sanctifies us. It makes us more like Jesus because "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another".

    It's the purpose of marriage. This can be applied to relationships in general but God created a way for one man and one woman to enter a covenant based on a trust and a love that can only be shared between two people. It is meant to be a representation of what God wants to have with us. A relationship that reveals our flaws and causes us to become more like Jesus. Our self focused culture has taken the truth of the "hard" parts of marriage and lied to us saying that marriage is too hard and once theres no emotion to keep you together, then clearly it's time to call it quits. They reduced love to an emotion and once that's gone, they have no obligation to work at it because they are no longer "in love". The people who believe the lie that it's all downhill from marriage don't understand the concept of marriage. Dating isn't meant to fulfill you, it's only a stepping stone to the real deal. It's the reason you feel drawn to marriage but know that the hard parts in your dating relationship will only be amplified when you enter marriage. It's a turn-off for those who listen to the marriage definition of todays society, but at the same time it's a longing of the heart. People enter it based on how they feel, but when the person isn't making them feel the love that made them long for marriage, they have no obligation to try. If you base your love for people on how they make you feel, then you have not learned how to love.

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8


    So next time when you're faced with a hard truth and it doesn't feel like your husband is making you happy, he is making you happy. You're not going to feel it instantly, in fact it may actually hurt in the moment but momentary affliction is worth it because of where it leads. It leads you to deal with something that is actually hindering your walk with God and your relationship with your spouse. That's true love. Love will take that risk of telling you something you don't want to hear because they want to see you grow. Love will put up with you when you get angry and decide not to make his favorite dinner because he made you upset by pointing out your flaw. Love will still be there waiting for the moment the light bulb goes off and you realize he was right. Love will respond with walking you through whatever you need to help you become the person you were created to be. And when you are walking in your destiny, you can't NOT be happy.


PS. You don't have to wait till you're in a relationship to do this! God has called us to love each other. That means your family, your best friend, your co-workers ect... It's the same principle. God gave us each other so we could spur one another on towards Christ. Thank God for the people in your life that love you enough to push you to become better, and strive to love people enough to show love even when you don't feel like it. It's good practice for marriage!

Prayer and Social Media

  Recently I've noticed that prayer status' have become a trend amongst my christian friends on facebook. At first I just passed over it and wasn't even interested but the more I've seen this trend, the more interested I became and decided to read what people were posting. Now, I can say that I LOVE when people post scripture and testimonies! There's nothing like being able to scroll through facebook and read truth and see what God is doing in my friends lives. It is encouraging and beneficial to my life. So for those of you who are doing that, THANK YOU! But something that I just have not had peace about was people posting prayers about themselves on social media.

Before I continue here is a disclaimer: If God has specifically told you to start praying on facebook, by all means please do. I'm all about being obedient to God and the last thing I am trying to do is judge peoples actions. I only see the outward appearance, it's God who knows your heart but I would caution those who are praying publicly and haven't sought God about why you are praying over social media. I would encourage you to do so.

  So here were some of my thoughts as I was trying to figure out what my deal was. If I'm being honest, the prayers annoyed me. At first I thought there was something wrong with me. I mean, praying on facebook, that can be pretty bold and risky for some and they should be commended, right?! I thought I was irritated because they were doing something that I wasn't. But as I was reading these prayers I have no doubt that they are sincere and heartfelt, but in all honesty they didn't seem like prayers that I could agree with and say "Amen" to. To me they more so seemed like a way to let the world know how spiritual they were or to get a point across. Then I was reminded of a popular people group in the Bible that did the exact same thing.

The Pharisees. They flaunted their status and their entire identity revolved around appearing to say and do the right things. It looked like they were holy and they talked like they were besties with God, but when the Lord Himself walked in the room, they had no idea. They completely missed Him because they were so focused on keeping up appearances.

In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about how we should pray. In verse 5 He says "When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full."

So after reading this passage let me ask you, how serious are you about your prayers? Do you really want to see them happen or is the recognition from your 500+ facebook friends enough for you? God created prayer not as a means for drawing attention to ourselves, but to draw us closer to Himself. Prayer to me is a very private thing. It's like sharing secrets with my best friend. I don't get up on a stage and yell my secrets for the world to hear, I pull my best friend aside and spend one on one, private time with them. Sharing the depths of my heart with them. That is what prayer means to me.

Now before you argue and start debating me about praying for other people and countries and problems publicly and insert the "when 2 or 3 are gathered" line, I will ask you to consider this. When any of the great leaders of the Bible discussed with God something that was really on their heart, that they really wanted to see changed or made better, how did they approach God? Was it in public where everyone could agree with them and shout an "AMEN!", or did they go off and have a heart to heart with their Lord, the One they knew heard their cries and would answer them, not because of how many people they got to agree with them, but simply because they asked.

Change in your life won't happen because you posted a prayer on facebook. It will happen when you sign off facebook and spend time with the Person you are asking to change you.

Peace that passes understanding

   It wasn't too long ago that I was finding myself somewhat stressed out. The thought of planning a wedding has been on my mind as well as finances and just typical life situations. I have very high expectations for myself so when I don't meet them, I begin to get frustrated and feel like I'm failing. It's not true but it's an emotion I have to deal with nontheless. So the other day, Corey and I were trying to discuss some future things, that are not so far off in the future, and he could tell I was starting to freak out a bit over stuff I don't normally freak out over. He pointed out that I was not living from PEACE.

   In my Original Design, one of the things is "PEACE to withstand ANY circumstance". I have the capability to have peace no matter the circumstance, but this isn't just for me, this is actually something that Jesus left with us as a command as He left earth and ascended into Heaven....

John 14:27

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

   Then this morning I was listening to Adventures in Odyssey (if you dont know what it is, it's a radio drama I've listened to since I was a kid) and "It is Well" was playing. This episode tells the story of Horatio G. Spafford, the man who wrote the song "It is well with my soul". It tells the story of his life and the tragedies that he endured. He lost his son to sickness, he lost his business to the great Chicago fire, and then he loses his 3 daughters to a ship collision! I can only imagine what his emotions were during that time, but in the midst of it he penned these words, 

"When peace like a river attendeth my way, 

       When sorrows like sea billows roll,

  Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say

       It is well, it is well, with my soul"

    Then it hit me! Not that I didn't know but it was a good reminder for me. Peace is NOT an emotion! It is a CHOICE! His emotions in those times were most likely the furthest thing from peaceful but he writes about how even when he is faced with the decision to have peace or give into his circumstance, God has taught him to choose peace.

 Peace is hard to choose sometimes. Sometimes it's hard to understand how you can choose peace in EVERY circumstance, but one of my favorite Bill Johnson quotes is this, "If you want peace that passes understanding, you have to give up your right to understand". Peace shows trust in God. When you have to choose peace you are choosing to say "God I don't get this, I dont know why this is happening but I trust you." Peace is the result of faith in God, the opposite is despair. Wether you have peace or not will allow you to see where you are placing your faith. God calls us to thrive with whatever hand we are dealt, it's called good stewardship. Even if you only have the breath in your lungs you have something to give the world. What are you going to choose to do with that breath. Complain and grumble and be miserable? That's not what we are called to. We are called to peace in EVERY circumstance. Give up your right to understand, choose peace and you will see miracles happen in your life. To have a miracle you have to have an impossible situation. We often want the miracles, but without the impossible situation. 

    So what it comes down to is a choice. I have to choose to reject self pity, and act from faith which will result in peace. You don't always choose your circumstances, but you can choose how you are going to deal with them. I used to discipline myself that whenever I was in a bad situation that was out of my control or I didn't understand I would sit down at the piano and sing "I dont understand your ways, oh but I will give you my song, give you all of my praise". That should be our response 100% of the time. No excuses. He promised us peace, if we don't have peace it's because we are rejecting it. 

We're Engaged!!!!!!!

   I'm so excited that this gets to be my next blog post. I'm thinking that I may have to just tell our story next time. It's a dramatic story of how God miraculously kept moving Corey and I closer together and even when things looked impossible, He had people praying for us and totally caused all things to work together for our good. I wouldn't change our story at all! I have come to love every aspect of it and am so glad we are here today. But I'm sure you're all dying to hear how he asked me to marry him so let me just tell you....because I am totally excited and pretty sure I was smiling in my sleep last night. ;)

   So about a week and a half ago, Corey told me he wanted to do something special for his brother Elijah's graduation. He was planning on just giving a speech but I suggested we do an Original Design for him instead. For those of you who are unfamiliar, an original design is where you sit down and ask God to show you some things about the person that He created them to be. Corey thought it was a great idea so we took some time to sit down and pray for Elijah. Let me just stop to say that praying with Corey is one of my favorite things to do. I have never met a man who hears God with me so accurately. Whenever we go to God about something, we always come away with the same conclusion. This comes in real handy when we are solving disagreements! So after hearing from God, we typed it up all nice, had it printed out on some fancy paper and put it in a nice frame! He said we would gather everyone up at some point during the party and present it to him because he wanted his dad to record it as well. He also made sure to tell me that he wanted me by his side for the whole ordeal as well.

   So yesterday, June 1st, I went over to the Robert house for Elijah's graduation celebration. I got to meet a bunch of the family from out of state and other family I haven't met as well. It was fun to get to spend time with them and get to know them. Around 4pm Corey decided to gather everyone up so we could give Elijah his gift from us. So everyone piled in the living room, his dad turned on the camera and Corey started his speech about his brother and we presented the gift to him. It was a super sweet moment already. Well we ended it and then Corey starts to say how he just has one more thing to do while he had everyones attention. He started talking about us and our history together and how much of a team we are and how he wants to begin a new chapter together. Before I know it, he turned to me and starts to get down on one knee!!! I was like NO WAY!!!! I was so shocked, I honestly can't even remember what he said but somehow he asked me to marry him and I said yes (which he doesn't remember) and the ring ended up on my hand which was shaking so badly from excitement! It was so special to be able to share such an incredible moment with our family and friends!

So there it is!!! He got me good! I couldn't be happier with the way Corey has asked me to be his wife. I am thrilled to be getting married to my very best friend. I wouldn't want to live without him. God is good! And Romans 8:28 has never been more real to me in my life. God gets all the glory for this one! We wouldn't be where we are without Him. May we always remember how far He's brought us, He is so faithful. :)