I hit it. That point in wedding planning where I started to loathe the process. From craft projects, to food choices, to guest inviting people not on the list; yes I'm ready to elope. What started out as fun, crafts, dreams coming true has now turned into the thing in my life that I want to procrastinate even more so then laundry!
Worries have started to settle in my mind taking the place of excitement and expectation. People asking a totally logical question or offering helpful advice feels more like a huge boulder added on top of my already toppling mountain that I've been carrying around. It's not them, it's me. And if I don't get rid of the load, I will not make it to my wedding day.
My problem is fear. Fears of regret, that I will make decisions that 10 years from now will make me want to smack myself upside the head. Fears that I won't have enough for ALLLLLL these people that see our wedding day as something they can't miss out on! (tell me why do we have to be so popular!?!?!?!) Fears that things won't turn out as I'm planning them. Fears that it will rain! Stupid stupid fear!
So yesterday, I got sick of fear. I went to God about the wedding. He reminded me of a wedding that Jesus went to. The one that marked His ministry. The one where they ran out of wine and He made more! He reminded me that Jesus also calmed a huge storm. (Why am I worried again?) He reminded me of Isaiah 45:2-3 which tells me "He is going before me and making the rough places smooth. Shattering the gates of bronze and cutting their iron bars. He is giving me the treasures of darkness and the hidden wealth of secret places because I have made Him my God and He knows me by my name!". He reminded me that it's just a day. My marriage is what matters. He reminded me that I know how to make good decisions and He trust me to make the right ones but even if I fall short on a decision I have Isaiah 45:2-3 to fall back on. And then as I was talking things out with my future husband (whom God then reminded me why I love Him so much), Corey pointed out that there is a reason all these people are coming to our wedding. That's when God changed my complete idea of what this wedding is about.
God has given Corey and I a day where we can stand in front of close family, extended family, friends, friends of friends, and allow them the honor of staring at a miracle. They get to witness the very work of God as Corey and I vow to each other to honor and serve one another. They get to witness us paint a picture of Jesus, just as He laid down His life for us, we get to lay down our lives for each other. We get to surround our guest with the very love of Christ as we show love towards one another just as Christ showed love towards us. This wedding is not just about me, it's a way for God to work through me by using the testimony Corey and I have. We would not be where we are without Christ and we want Him to be the center of this day. By coming to this wedding, our guest won't just see Corey and I get married, they will see Jesus Himself.
My perspective has completely changed for this day. It is no longer about looking back and making sure I don't regret my decisions. It's no longer about what hair style I have or what the centerpieces look like. It's about being a picture of Christ for our family and friends and giving them the chance to encounter the One who has made this all possible. God has brought us together not to put on a party, but to glorify Himself. With that thought in mind, my mountain has melted away and I feel the freedom to move forward in confidence that He will make this day far more then I can ever imagine. I will fix my eyes on Him, the One who has caused all things to work together for our good. I want to look back 10 years from now and remember how many people encountered Christ because of one day. THAT my friends, is my dream wedding.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Happy Wife, Happy Life
I could not have thought of a better way to spend such a gorgeous saturday morning then to walk to Starbucks with my sweet friend, Jess. Coffee and a lovely conversation, yes please! God has blessed me with someone to enrich my life with fun and also wisdom, not to mention she's actually the same age as me! (which if you know me, that's rare)
Something we talked about today was the phrase, "A happy wife means a happy life!". We both stated how we had mixed feelings about the saying so we talked it out. Yes, on the one hand there is truth to it. Men if you love your wife she will want to love you back (so feel free to do so), but so often this statement is translated as "It's my husbands job to make me happy at all times and if he doesn't make me happy, then I don't have to make him happy". Newsflash, that's not love. The Bible does tell husbands to love their wives, but love doesn't always look the way we want it. Sometimes love has to tell the truth and sometimes the truth hurts. But God didn't create marriage to suck because of the hard truths, He made it become even more wonderful because - I love the word Jess uses - it sanctifies us. It makes us more like Jesus because "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another".
It's the purpose of marriage. This can be applied to relationships in general but God created a way for one man and one woman to enter a covenant based on a trust and a love that can only be shared between two people. It is meant to be a representation of what God wants to have with us. A relationship that reveals our flaws and causes us to become more like Jesus. Our self focused culture has taken the truth of the "hard" parts of marriage and lied to us saying that marriage is too hard and once theres no emotion to keep you together, then clearly it's time to call it quits. They reduced love to an emotion and once that's gone, they have no obligation to work at it because they are no longer "in love". The people who believe the lie that it's all downhill from marriage don't understand the concept of marriage. Dating isn't meant to fulfill you, it's only a stepping stone to the real deal. It's the reason you feel drawn to marriage but know that the hard parts in your dating relationship will only be amplified when you enter marriage. It's a turn-off for those who listen to the marriage definition of todays society, but at the same time it's a longing of the heart. People enter it based on how they feel, but when the person isn't making them feel the love that made them long for marriage, they have no obligation to try. If you base your love for people on how they make you feel, then you have not learned how to love.
So next time when you're faced with a hard truth and it doesn't feel like your husband is making you happy, he is making you happy. You're not going to feel it instantly, in fact it may actually hurt in the moment but momentary affliction is worth it because of where it leads. It leads you to deal with something that is actually hindering your walk with God and your relationship with your spouse. That's true love. Love will take that risk of telling you something you don't want to hear because they want to see you grow. Love will put up with you when you get angry and decide not to make his favorite dinner because he made you upset by pointing out your flaw. Love will still be there waiting for the moment the light bulb goes off and you realize he was right. Love will respond with walking you through whatever you need to help you become the person you were created to be. And when you are walking in your destiny, you can't NOT be happy.
PS. You don't have to wait till you're in a relationship to do this! God has called us to love each other. That means your family, your best friend, your co-workers ect... It's the same principle. God gave us each other so we could spur one another on towards Christ. Thank God for the people in your life that love you enough to push you to become better, and strive to love people enough to show love even when you don't feel like it. It's good practice for marriage!
Something we talked about today was the phrase, "A happy wife means a happy life!". We both stated how we had mixed feelings about the saying so we talked it out. Yes, on the one hand there is truth to it. Men if you love your wife she will want to love you back (so feel free to do so), but so often this statement is translated as "It's my husbands job to make me happy at all times and if he doesn't make me happy, then I don't have to make him happy". Newsflash, that's not love. The Bible does tell husbands to love their wives, but love doesn't always look the way we want it. Sometimes love has to tell the truth and sometimes the truth hurts. But God didn't create marriage to suck because of the hard truths, He made it become even more wonderful because - I love the word Jess uses - it sanctifies us. It makes us more like Jesus because "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another".
It's the purpose of marriage. This can be applied to relationships in general but God created a way for one man and one woman to enter a covenant based on a trust and a love that can only be shared between two people. It is meant to be a representation of what God wants to have with us. A relationship that reveals our flaws and causes us to become more like Jesus. Our self focused culture has taken the truth of the "hard" parts of marriage and lied to us saying that marriage is too hard and once theres no emotion to keep you together, then clearly it's time to call it quits. They reduced love to an emotion and once that's gone, they have no obligation to work at it because they are no longer "in love". The people who believe the lie that it's all downhill from marriage don't understand the concept of marriage. Dating isn't meant to fulfill you, it's only a stepping stone to the real deal. It's the reason you feel drawn to marriage but know that the hard parts in your dating relationship will only be amplified when you enter marriage. It's a turn-off for those who listen to the marriage definition of todays society, but at the same time it's a longing of the heart. People enter it based on how they feel, but when the person isn't making them feel the love that made them long for marriage, they have no obligation to try. If you base your love for people on how they make you feel, then you have not learned how to love.
"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8So next time when you're faced with a hard truth and it doesn't feel like your husband is making you happy, he is making you happy. You're not going to feel it instantly, in fact it may actually hurt in the moment but momentary affliction is worth it because of where it leads. It leads you to deal with something that is actually hindering your walk with God and your relationship with your spouse. That's true love. Love will take that risk of telling you something you don't want to hear because they want to see you grow. Love will put up with you when you get angry and decide not to make his favorite dinner because he made you upset by pointing out your flaw. Love will still be there waiting for the moment the light bulb goes off and you realize he was right. Love will respond with walking you through whatever you need to help you become the person you were created to be. And when you are walking in your destiny, you can't NOT be happy.
PS. You don't have to wait till you're in a relationship to do this! God has called us to love each other. That means your family, your best friend, your co-workers ect... It's the same principle. God gave us each other so we could spur one another on towards Christ. Thank God for the people in your life that love you enough to push you to become better, and strive to love people enough to show love even when you don't feel like it. It's good practice for marriage!
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