Sunday, June 9, 2013

Peace that passes understanding

   It wasn't too long ago that I was finding myself somewhat stressed out. The thought of planning a wedding has been on my mind as well as finances and just typical life situations. I have very high expectations for myself so when I don't meet them, I begin to get frustrated and feel like I'm failing. It's not true but it's an emotion I have to deal with nontheless. So the other day, Corey and I were trying to discuss some future things, that are not so far off in the future, and he could tell I was starting to freak out a bit over stuff I don't normally freak out over. He pointed out that I was not living from PEACE.

   In my Original Design, one of the things is "PEACE to withstand ANY circumstance". I have the capability to have peace no matter the circumstance, but this isn't just for me, this is actually something that Jesus left with us as a command as He left earth and ascended into Heaven....

John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

   Then this morning I was listening to Adventures in Odyssey (if you dont know what it is, it's a radio drama I've listened to since I was a kid) and "It is Well" was playing. This episode tells the story of Horatio G. Spafford, the man who wrote the song "It is well with my soul". It tells the story of his life and the tragedies that he endured. He lost his son to sickness, he lost his business to the great Chicago fire, and then he loses his 3 daughters to a ship collision! I can only imagine what his emotions were during that time, but in the midst of it he penned these words, 

"When peace like a river attendeth my way, 
       When sorrows like sea billows roll,
  Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
       It is well, it is well, with my soul"

    Then it hit me! Not that I didn't know but it was a good reminder for me. Peace is NOT an emotion! It is a CHOICE! His emotions in those times were most likely the furthest thing from peaceful but he writes about how even when he is faced with the decision to have peace or give into his circumstance, God has taught him to choose peace.
 Peace is hard to choose sometimes. Sometimes it's hard to understand how you can choose peace in EVERY circumstance, but one of my favorite Bill Johnson quotes is this, "If you want peace that passes understanding, you have to give up your right to understand". Peace shows trust in God. When you have to choose peace you are choosing to say "God I don't get this, I dont know why this is happening but I trust you." Peace is the result of faith in God, the opposite is despair. Wether you have peace or not will allow you to see where you are placing your faith. God calls us to thrive with whatever hand we are dealt, it's called good stewardship. Even if you only have the breath in your lungs you have something to give the world. What are you going to choose to do with that breath. Complain and grumble and be miserable? That's not what we are called to. We are called to peace in EVERY circumstance. Give up your right to understand, choose peace and you will see miracles happen in your life. To have a miracle you have to have an impossible situation. We often want the miracles, but without the impossible situation. 

    So what it comes down to is a choice. I have to choose to reject self pity, and act from faith which will result in peace. You don't always choose your circumstances, but you can choose how you are going to deal with them. I used to discipline myself that whenever I was in a bad situation that was out of my control or I didn't understand I would sit down at the piano and sing "I dont understand your ways, oh but I will give you my song, give you all of my praise". That should be our response 100% of the time. No excuses. He promised us peace, if we don't have peace it's because we are rejecting it. 


Sunday, June 2, 2013

We're Engaged!!!!!!!

   I'm so excited that this gets to be my next blog post. I'm thinking that I may have to just tell our story next time. It's a dramatic story of how God miraculously kept moving Corey and I closer together and even when things looked impossible, He had people praying for us and totally caused all things to work together for our good. I wouldn't change our story at all! I have come to love every aspect of it and am so glad we are here today. But I'm sure you're all dying to hear how he asked me to marry him so let me just tell you....because I am totally excited and pretty sure I was smiling in my sleep last night. ;)

   So about a week and a half ago, Corey told me he wanted to do something special for his brother Elijah's graduation. He was planning on just giving a speech but I suggested we do an Original Design for him instead. For those of you who are unfamiliar, an original design is where you sit down and ask God to show you some things about the person that He created them to be. Corey thought it was a great idea so we took some time to sit down and pray for Elijah. Let me just stop to say that praying with Corey is one of my favorite things to do. I have never met a man who hears God with me so accurately. Whenever we go to God about something, we always come away with the same conclusion. This comes in real handy when we are solving disagreements! So after hearing from God, we typed it up all nice, had it printed out on some fancy paper and put it in a nice frame! He said we would gather everyone up at some point during the party and present it to him because he wanted his dad to record it as well. He also made sure to tell me that he wanted me by his side for the whole ordeal as well.

   So yesterday, June 1st, I went over to the Robert house for Elijah's graduation celebration. I got to meet a bunch of the family from out of state and other family I haven't met as well. It was fun to get to spend time with them and get to know them. Around 4pm Corey decided to gather everyone up so we could give Elijah his gift from us. So everyone piled in the living room, his dad turned on the camera and Corey started his speech about his brother and we presented the gift to him. It was a super sweet moment already. Well we ended it and then Corey starts to say how he just has one more thing to do while he had everyones attention. He started talking about us and our history together and how much of a team we are and how he wants to begin a new chapter together. Before I know it, he turned to me and starts to get down on one knee!!! I was like NO WAY!!!! I was so shocked, I honestly can't even remember what he said but somehow he asked me to marry him and I said yes (which he doesn't remember) and the ring ended up on my hand which was shaking so badly from excitement! It was so special to be able to share such an incredible moment with our family and friends!




So there it is!!! He got me good! I couldn't be happier with the way Corey has asked me to be his wife. I am thrilled to be getting married to my very best friend. I wouldn't want to live without him. God is good! And Romans 8:28 has never been more real to me in my life. God gets all the glory for this one! We wouldn't be where we are without Him. May we always remember how far He's brought us, He is so faithful. :)