Fasting and Me

      So about 2 weeks ago I was reading my current choice in literature ("What's the Point" by Misty Edwards - I'd highly recommend it!) and since she's from IHOP they are real big on fasting. This has been something I've really wrestled with over the years. I have pushed it to the back of my mind so many times because I just could not come to a conclusion as to what fasting looks like for me.

     In all honesty, food is not a big deal to me. At all. I can go through the day and if I'm focused on what I'm doing enough I can completely ignore hunger pains until they aren't even there anymore. (My coffee addiction probably does not help things! haha) It's not good, at all and I'm working on this. I have to really make it a point to eat food. For most people fasting brings them to a point of weakness and forces them to chose to meditate on God rather then their stomach. It's a sacrifice for most people. I'm just not one of them. So I've been asking God what does this look like for me? I don't want to ignore the concept. Obviously He finds it beneficial for us and I don't want to miss out on it. Well once again I had completely put it behind me because I just honestly didn't want to deal with it. But this morning, completely random I may add, God decided to wake me up before 6. Now let me just say, anyone who knows me even in the slightest knows that I am NOT a morning person. Furthest thing from it. I just do not function in the morning. End of story. So ironically (it's really not ironic at all) I've been feeling God nudge me to wake up at 6 to spend some time with Him before I start my day. So this morning when He woke me up I jumped out of my bed with the biggest smile on my face and grabbed my Bible and had an amazing quiet time!  rolled over and said 5 more minutes.....Haha. My 5 minutes turned into 45 and only did I get up to go put Nick on the bus. Now there's this really great song where the first line is "though I sleep, my heart is awake". It's literal people! So even in my rebel sleepy state God decided he was going to talk to me. He started to point out that this is like my fasting. Giving up that 45 minutes before I have to get up I am exactly in that needy state, relying on God to be my strength to actually get up. It's hard, and I have yet to even do it, but I know that God never asks you to do something He won't enable you to do (listen to me, i've traveled around the world with no money and I'm struggling with waking up in the morning! hahaha pathetic).

   I feel like people have the wrong impression about fasting. I honestly don't know what it does for most people. I guess they like how it sounds when they tell people they fasted and prayed about something. I really don't know, but what He's been showing me is that it's an act of obedience and it's not even something to be telling people. I've contemplated writing this because of that fact, but I feel like this is ok. I guess it all comes down to the motive of the heart. That's really what He's looking at.

   Maybe one day He will ask me to give up food. That day is not today and I'm not a horrible christian because I don't fast food. He see's my struggles and He see's where my heart is. He will honor my obedience. Now excuse me while I go repent for my prior disobedience. ;)