I started classes for Bethel's new online Worship University this week. They have been rocking my world! As I'm watching these lectures on the heart of worship and songwriting I find my spirit coming alive! That doesn't seem like it's anything new, but lately I have felt un-inspired and un-motivated to be who I know God has called me to be. Here is why:
There have been two people in my life that the enemy has used to stick a lie in my head. The first person told me I couldn't sing, the second, told me I wasn't a very good song writer. Both of these people spoke their opinions and the enemy has since used those lies to make me shy away from the calling God has placed on my life. It's funny how you remember the negative 10x more then you do the positive. Only two people have ever said these things to me! The majority of people are only ever full of encouragement. I have had countless people tell me how my songs have really blessed them, spoke to them, challenged them and helped them through rough times. Cindy Myers said to me before I left for Finland that while she was in the hospital, she would listen to the songs I had written and they helped her get through the nights. Both of my parents have told me how my songs have blessed them. Not to mention the countless people who have prophecied over me saying that I write songs of deliverance and my voice brings freedom. So with ALL that truth, why does ONE persons opinion have such an affect on me. I have to make a conscious choice to believe what God says, rather then what these two people have said.
Today as I was driving in my car, I turned down the music and started singing my prayers to God. What I would normally just say out to God, I sang instead. Then he brought a song that I wrote to my mind.
"Though despair may challenge my soul
Though the pain I feel tells me I'm not whole
I cling to the truth that your all that I need
You gave me a promise that no one can take from me
So I choose to see the light inside of me
To see the man who came and died to set me free
And in the shadow of your wings you shine on me
You shine on me
Arise my soul, sing out the truth
Your light is here, your light has come
His glory's shining all around me
In Him no darkness can be found
So arise my soul, cry all is well
Your light is here, your light has come
Christ in me, the hope of glory you shine on me, you shine on me"
As I began to sing it out, the truth in the song began to prove to me that I'm not a bad songwriter and He has in fact given me the ability to write songs of deliverance and with my voice they will bring freedom. How do I know? Because it was freeing me. Though the words that people have said may challenge the calling on my life, I CHOOSE to see what God has placed inside of me and I will sing it out until my soul believes it. He has given me this gift and no one can take that from me. They can try to discourage me from writing or singing, but they can't take the gift away from me. It was never from them in the first place. It's from God. I refuse to let a persons opinion destroy the truth of who I am.
God's voice has to be stronger then the opinions of others or you will never become who you were created to be.
